As some of you may know, I spent the last 4 weeks caring for my husband's children. And as most of you are aware, I have the maternal instincts of an amphibian and as such have received many requests for updates (or more correctly, debriefings) on the experience from curious friends (read: schadenfreude) .
So here is the first part of my general observations on children and parenting. I'll start with the part I like least: Parents.
WARNING: Overly sensitive Mom-bots stop reading here. While it isn't my intended goal, I will gladly accept your offense as a bonus.
1) Most people have children for all the wrong reasons if they even bother having a reason at all.
Of course, this assumes that there could exist anything so compelling that one would give up freedom, vaginal elasticity and disposable income. When questioned, most people will confess to never having given the "why" a second thought. It was simply a foregone conclusion. Or they expected a child to give them purpose or save their marriage or be an extension of their lives. Which brings us to ...
2) Having children is a privilege, not a right.
Much like wearing Spandex, people assume that if they can, they should. And that sense of entitlement carries over to how they deal with their lives as parents. So, on behalf of everyone who knows a "Martyr Mom"...
3)Raising kids is supposed to be hard-STOP BITCHING
Once upon a time, children were the unfortunate price of sexual pleasure and were treated as such. Now that children are a choice, if not a luxury, people have this outrageously romanticized view of child rearing and children in general. Your experience, Saint Mommy of the Suburb, is not unique: diapers have always smelled, babies are supposed to cry and those gorgeous, engorged breasts in the La Leche League poster don't look like any mommy outside of LA. Get over it! You made this choice, and if it was uninformed that is squarely on you. Your hubris made you choose to take on the job of a god and create life and dump on it a crowded, fucked up planet. Seriously, how easy could you think it was going to be? You don't deserve any sympathy for dealing with the conditions of a commitment you freely took on. And your "sacrifice" does not oblige your kids so adjust your expectations of them too! By which I mean...
4) Get a life: your children are busy trying to live their own
Once the umbilical cord is cut that individual ceases to be a part of you and is...an individual! Ta Da! And anyone who says "my children are my whole life" is automatically suspect. If that's the case then, what were you before and what do you bring to the table for them? They're giving you a reason to exist but what do they get in return? A child's identity is not an extension, nor their life a sequel, of his or her parents'. Your kid is not your opportunity to right past wrongs or fix what's broken in you. If you couldn't play piano chances are little Mary won't either. What do famous performers Billy Joel, Mariah Carey and Alicia Keyes have in common? All had mothers who were opera singers. If you weren't one too, stop expecting your kids to live out your frustrated dreams of Carnegie Hall. And forget about them being your personal fan club. If you don't like yourself chances are they aren't going to like you much either. If you are incapable of creating and maintaining relationships in your life it is absolute lunacy to think that genetics and filial piety will somehow guarantee they'll stick around once they don't need you. And speaking of jumping ship...
5) Your children are no guarantee that your marriage will last-nor is that their job.
They didn't take vows or make commitments. Your marriage started as, hopefully is, and should always remain, a romantic relationship between two adults. Children are the product of this union-not its reason for existing. If you've forgotten how to bring sexy back, I assure you that no toddler will bring it for you. I've actually heard it said that children "cement" a marriage. Only if you mean cement in the same context as the mob. Children should carry a warning label: "Marital Solvent-add 1 kid and distance one spouse, continue adding kids to remove spouse completely". And this extends to your other relationships a well, to wit...
6) My not having children is not a reflection on your life choices and I am not a freak for choosing to live my life without kids.
Stop holding your lifestyle up to mine like you're trying to match a bag and a pair of shoes. If you had a child for the purposes of validating your existence you are the worst kind of piece of shit and your kids should pull a "Menendez Brothers" on you post- haste. If you and I had a friendship based on our mutual interests, similar tastes or just proximity to the same bar, why would you assume that I want the topic of every conversation to about your new addition? And where is the reciprocity? The highway runs both ways-I shouldn't always have to drive to see you. Or have smoke-, booze- and curse-free poker games that start at 2 and end at 9. No I don't have a fucking car seat and if you ruin my interiors strapping that hipness-repellent in my car I will "accidentally" run over Junior in the driveway. I buy your kid gifts year, after long suffering year, and you forget my birthday like clockwork-how the hell is that fair? And so finally, on behalf of everyone who knows you...
7) Seriously-shut the fuck up about your sainted motherhood, and your fucking kid already and furthermore stop expecting the world to make allowances for your choices.
Wanna be a doctor? Study for umpteen years!
Wanna be a lawyer? Study for umpteen years and sell your soul!
Want a title that imparts you an indentity if you couldn't develop one, instant respect if you couldn't earn it and veneration as paragon of virture regardless how big a loser/bimbo you were before AND requires no more effort to earn than access to functioning plumbing and bad luck? Be a mother! Come on now-Billy Mays couldn't dream up a better offer than that!
Getting knocked up earns you exactly zero in my eyes. Call me when your kid is 35, earning a Noble Prize (after you won yours) and still comes to your house on Easter/Passover. Then and only then, I'll be impressed. .
As for the process of getting from brat to Beethoven: spare us all the details. I promise you nobody cares about your kid's sleeping, crawling, walking, talking, shitting-on-command prowess (in that order). Or cheese-dick art work. Or painfully boring and commonplace psuedo-acheivements like 4th place in the Pee Wee Football League (thank you for sponsoring that slice of hell, fucking Kiwanis). Seriously, none of that matters to anyone but you-and it shouldn't. But you have to have a life of your own and grant others room in it if want any real adult relationship to exist. And if you have allowed your world to be reduced to the minutiae of someone else's life, that is your problem and your pity! Leave me out of it. Now re-read number 4; their achievements are NOT yours. So get a life.
Roald Dahl was right: the worst thing about kids is parents.
Stay tuned for Part 2 in the coninuing saga of Step-Monster Summer
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Funeral Blues
Governor Patterson has ordered that all state government buildings lower their flags to half staff today in honor of U.S. Marine Lance Corporal Alberto Francesconi of the Bronx, who was killed in Afghanistan on New Years Day.
While I applaud the Governor's actions and admit that this gesture has made him dearer to me, I first questioned; why this honor for this particular person? Other than having had the misfortune to die on the first day of a new year, his sacrifice isn't any different than that of those 4000 and counting who have perished in this war before him. On closer examination, I see the wisdom in the thought.
I look at this young man's boot camp graduation picture. He is extremely handsome and painfully young. He is (shockingly to my Peter Pan ego) young enough to be my son. In my living room and in my bedroom sit very similar pictures of another young man. It is my husband's boot camp photo. And I ask myself, what besides their resplendent youth in their beautiful dress blues, makes a kid from the Bronx and a farmer from Ohio so alike? Then the tragedy and the need for flag lowering come crashing home.
Look at either of these young men and you see such honor, decency, bravery, commitment. And that achingly beautiful cleanliness available only in the faces of very young and very idealistic men. You see in them every quality every father has ever hoped for in the men their daughters bring home. These young gods in their dress blues, so proud of having survived the crucible that is Parris Island which has distilled the very best within them; they stand so proud of having earned the brotherhood of the Corps.
Now look at the photo of the Corporal's widow. (Can a mere girl of 21 really be a widow? Is the universe really that perverse?) There but for the grace of god and 8 years of Clinton, go I. Call me the perpetrator of a gross oversimplification but the fact that she mourns and I do not is reason enough for me to be a Democrat. But I won't dirty this with politics-forgive that one lapse. The evil old men who wantonly send boys to die don't deserve a letter's worth of space that should be devoted to him and his memory.
But I must confess that I was never in any danger of being in her position because I have always lacked whatever gumption is necessary to have married or courted a man in imminent danger. Cowardice or self-preservation, either way, a person has to know their limits and sacrifice like hers is well beyond mine. So, I believe the flag is lowered for her too.
Now the real, visceral mourning begins because I get that what has been lost is exactly what I have been given. I met my husband after the service. I received all the benefits from what the Corps instilled in him with none of the sacrifice inherent in waiting at home. She will never know his children. She will never observe the subtle changes in his face that announce that the boy in the picture is no more (at least until he gets excited about some new toy or adventure and then the boy is resurrected). She will never have the pleasure of soothing him on cold mornings when his joints ache from the years of humping packs nor the laughter inherent in having to yell things over and over because he's half deaf from mortar fire. She will never have the joy, as do I, of living with a man for whom sacrifice is not just a word and who has offered himself up as the price of liberty. She will never know the great man this boy was likely to be, if my experience is any judge. I am grateful for my luck and ashamed at my relief that her suffering will never be mine. Because when the day comes that I am handed a flag from a grateful nation it will have been draped over the coffin of an old, old man whom I will have spent the better part of my life adoring. Unless I luckily and happily die first.
She has been robbed. We have been robbed. A whole generation has been robbed from us and we are all the lesser for it. Today this one young man is the standard bearer for all that have gone before him. 4000 deaths may be a statistic but the death of one mother's son is a goddamn tragedy we can all wrap our heads around. Or not.
So lower the flags. It is the very least we can do. And in honor of Lance Corporal Alberto Francesconi, so beautiful, so emblematic of all that is good and noble in young men and young Marines especially, I leave you with the words of Auden who says it better than I could ever:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W.H. Auden
While I applaud the Governor's actions and admit that this gesture has made him dearer to me, I first questioned; why this honor for this particular person? Other than having had the misfortune to die on the first day of a new year, his sacrifice isn't any different than that of those 4000 and counting who have perished in this war before him. On closer examination, I see the wisdom in the thought.
I look at this young man's boot camp graduation picture. He is extremely handsome and painfully young. He is (shockingly to my Peter Pan ego) young enough to be my son. In my living room and in my bedroom sit very similar pictures of another young man. It is my husband's boot camp photo. And I ask myself, what besides their resplendent youth in their beautiful dress blues, makes a kid from the Bronx and a farmer from Ohio so alike? Then the tragedy and the need for flag lowering come crashing home.
Look at either of these young men and you see such honor, decency, bravery, commitment. And that achingly beautiful cleanliness available only in the faces of very young and very idealistic men. You see in them every quality every father has ever hoped for in the men their daughters bring home. These young gods in their dress blues, so proud of having survived the crucible that is Parris Island which has distilled the very best within them; they stand so proud of having earned the brotherhood of the Corps.
Now look at the photo of the Corporal's widow. (Can a mere girl of 21 really be a widow? Is the universe really that perverse?) There but for the grace of god and 8 years of Clinton, go I. Call me the perpetrator of a gross oversimplification but the fact that she mourns and I do not is reason enough for me to be a Democrat. But I won't dirty this with politics-forgive that one lapse. The evil old men who wantonly send boys to die don't deserve a letter's worth of space that should be devoted to him and his memory.
But I must confess that I was never in any danger of being in her position because I have always lacked whatever gumption is necessary to have married or courted a man in imminent danger. Cowardice or self-preservation, either way, a person has to know their limits and sacrifice like hers is well beyond mine. So, I believe the flag is lowered for her too.
Now the real, visceral mourning begins because I get that what has been lost is exactly what I have been given. I met my husband after the service. I received all the benefits from what the Corps instilled in him with none of the sacrifice inherent in waiting at home. She will never know his children. She will never observe the subtle changes in his face that announce that the boy in the picture is no more (at least until he gets excited about some new toy or adventure and then the boy is resurrected). She will never have the pleasure of soothing him on cold mornings when his joints ache from the years of humping packs nor the laughter inherent in having to yell things over and over because he's half deaf from mortar fire. She will never have the joy, as do I, of living with a man for whom sacrifice is not just a word and who has offered himself up as the price of liberty. She will never know the great man this boy was likely to be, if my experience is any judge. I am grateful for my luck and ashamed at my relief that her suffering will never be mine. Because when the day comes that I am handed a flag from a grateful nation it will have been draped over the coffin of an old, old man whom I will have spent the better part of my life adoring. Unless I luckily and happily die first.
She has been robbed. We have been robbed. A whole generation has been robbed from us and we are all the lesser for it. Today this one young man is the standard bearer for all that have gone before him. 4000 deaths may be a statistic but the death of one mother's son is a goddamn tragedy we can all wrap our heads around. Or not.
So lower the flags. It is the very least we can do. And in honor of Lance Corporal Alberto Francesconi, so beautiful, so emblematic of all that is good and noble in young men and young Marines especially, I leave you with the words of Auden who says it better than I could ever:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W.H. Auden
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Welcome to the Promised Land
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
Martin Luther King, Memphis,TN on April 3rd, 1968, the day before his assassination.
When I think of death and of dying it isn't the fact that there is nothing afterwards that disturbs me. It isn't the fear of whatever pain may accompany the event. It is the idea that a million wonderful things will come that I will not live to see. Now I can say that I have lived to see the fulfillment of the promise upon which our country was founded. I have lived to see a time when all men are allowed the pursuit of happiness.
There are a great many more things I hope to see: a country where protection under the law is not dependent on sexual orientation; a victory over sexism like last night's victory over racism when a woman becomes our president. I'm pretty sure the Martians will land in Times Square after I breath my last, but I have lived to see this and truly, it is enough.
I mourn though, for the men who dared to dream of this day. What a pity that neither Martin Luther King nor Coretta Scott King lived to see this day. But their children did. And that's why they sacrificed what they did. Some time ago in a fit of feminism I reminded my goddaughter that there was nothing a man could do that she couldn't. Her reply? "Who doesn't know that?". And while it saddened me to think that she has no clue about the struggle that came before to grant her this optimism now, I was grateful that she would never know the oppression that had been overcome. Some day, the poor or black or Hispanic or Asian child will never remember a time when a black man couldn't be President. There will come a time when racism will be the exclusive and anachronistic province of provincials and the ignorant (although I believe it already is for the most part).
Somewhere, I hope, in a heaven I don't believe in, on this day there is joy for Medgar Evers, Malcom X, Emmet Till, the murdered voter registration workers, Rosa Parks and the countless millions who came in chains to build a nation which rejected them and their children. On this day I say "thank you" not to God, but to all the brave who came before. This is indeed the promised land of which Martin Luther King spoke. And this day proves it. Perhaps at last, we Americans, black, white, male, female, gay and straight, We the People have overcome.
Martin Luther King, Memphis,TN on April 3rd, 1968, the day before his assassination.
When I think of death and of dying it isn't the fact that there is nothing afterwards that disturbs me. It isn't the fear of whatever pain may accompany the event. It is the idea that a million wonderful things will come that I will not live to see. Now I can say that I have lived to see the fulfillment of the promise upon which our country was founded. I have lived to see a time when all men are allowed the pursuit of happiness.
There are a great many more things I hope to see: a country where protection under the law is not dependent on sexual orientation; a victory over sexism like last night's victory over racism when a woman becomes our president. I'm pretty sure the Martians will land in Times Square after I breath my last, but I have lived to see this and truly, it is enough.
I mourn though, for the men who dared to dream of this day. What a pity that neither Martin Luther King nor Coretta Scott King lived to see this day. But their children did. And that's why they sacrificed what they did. Some time ago in a fit of feminism I reminded my goddaughter that there was nothing a man could do that she couldn't. Her reply? "Who doesn't know that?". And while it saddened me to think that she has no clue about the struggle that came before to grant her this optimism now, I was grateful that she would never know the oppression that had been overcome. Some day, the poor or black or Hispanic or Asian child will never remember a time when a black man couldn't be President. There will come a time when racism will be the exclusive and anachronistic province of provincials and the ignorant (although I believe it already is for the most part).
Somewhere, I hope, in a heaven I don't believe in, on this day there is joy for Medgar Evers, Malcom X, Emmet Till, the murdered voter registration workers, Rosa Parks and the countless millions who came in chains to build a nation which rejected them and their children. On this day I say "thank you" not to God, but to all the brave who came before. This is indeed the promised land of which Martin Luther King spoke. And this day proves it. Perhaps at last, we Americans, black, white, male, female, gay and straight, We the People have overcome.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
What Dreams May Come...
I am absolutely giddy so you'll please excuse any bad grammar or improper verb agreement. Today is not a day for my OCD. I write this early on the morning of the most momentous election day ever. I hope I'm writing this on the morning of the day when America really lived up to its potential and elected her first black president!
This isn't a racial thing in the way you may be thinking. I'm not saying that if John McCain were black I would have voted for him just as a thank you for 400 years of oppression. I wouldn't vote for a person based on race anymore than I voted for Obama when I still had Hillary as a choice. I'm rejoicing at the idea that Martin Luther King was right: the day really has come when a man is judged by the content of his character and not the color of his skin.
Imagine what this means! That someday, if a qualified person were to appear, we could have an Asian president, a gay president, a Hispanic president, a Jewish president or any combination/permutation thereof. I used to call presidential elections on the number of vowels in a candidate's name-anything too ethnic would never make it. Remember Dukakis? Or Ferraro? Guiliani? Yup, neither does anyone else. And with the notable exceptions of Kennedy and Eisenhower how many names can you recall that didn't sound like something out of the social register? I know "McCain" is an ethnic, Irish name but "Obama" is parsecs further away from middle-America's comfort zone.
Of course this means that we must stop counting on rich white folks to educate their kids properly just so we end up with a Chief Executive who has half a brain (the Bushes tried, I'm sure). We're going to have to start pumping real money into our public schools because maybe, just maybe, the poorest Dominican in Washington Heights really does have the same chance as the richest member of Skull and Bones.
Don't misconstrue: I always love my country. For the past eight years I loved her like the brain damaged trauma victim she's become. But today I feel something more. Pride I think it is. Pride in the ideals that make us different from every other place on the planet. The fact that reason, intellect and common sense beat out fear and cronyism and racism. Our founding fathers were nothing short of gods (albeit with clay feet) and perhaps we have finally lived up to the challenge of E Pluribus Unum-out of many we are one. And this is proved by the fact that we've chosen a person who exemplifies the diversity which makes us great. For the first time our president won't look and sound like a standard bearer for the priviledged few. We've gone and picked a black man with a funny name to represent us all and the world will take note that perhaps the teenage schoolyard bully has finally matured into its power. And to think it only took 232 years!
I've always believed that all people are created equal-I just don't think they stay that way. But this one event will do alot to level out the playing field in terms of how it will inspire a nation and generations of people heretofore marginalized. Today I believe that truly, anything is possible.
That having been said, if McCain wins I'm going to Mexico.
This isn't a racial thing in the way you may be thinking. I'm not saying that if John McCain were black I would have voted for him just as a thank you for 400 years of oppression. I wouldn't vote for a person based on race anymore than I voted for Obama when I still had Hillary as a choice. I'm rejoicing at the idea that Martin Luther King was right: the day really has come when a man is judged by the content of his character and not the color of his skin.
Imagine what this means! That someday, if a qualified person were to appear, we could have an Asian president, a gay president, a Hispanic president, a Jewish president or any combination/permutation thereof. I used to call presidential elections on the number of vowels in a candidate's name-anything too ethnic would never make it. Remember Dukakis? Or Ferraro? Guiliani? Yup, neither does anyone else. And with the notable exceptions of Kennedy and Eisenhower how many names can you recall that didn't sound like something out of the social register? I know "McCain" is an ethnic, Irish name but "Obama" is parsecs further away from middle-America's comfort zone.
Of course this means that we must stop counting on rich white folks to educate their kids properly just so we end up with a Chief Executive who has half a brain (the Bushes tried, I'm sure). We're going to have to start pumping real money into our public schools because maybe, just maybe, the poorest Dominican in Washington Heights really does have the same chance as the richest member of Skull and Bones.
Don't misconstrue: I always love my country. For the past eight years I loved her like the brain damaged trauma victim she's become. But today I feel something more. Pride I think it is. Pride in the ideals that make us different from every other place on the planet. The fact that reason, intellect and common sense beat out fear and cronyism and racism. Our founding fathers were nothing short of gods (albeit with clay feet) and perhaps we have finally lived up to the challenge of E Pluribus Unum-out of many we are one. And this is proved by the fact that we've chosen a person who exemplifies the diversity which makes us great. For the first time our president won't look and sound like a standard bearer for the priviledged few. We've gone and picked a black man with a funny name to represent us all and the world will take note that perhaps the teenage schoolyard bully has finally matured into its power. And to think it only took 232 years!
I've always believed that all people are created equal-I just don't think they stay that way. But this one event will do alot to level out the playing field in terms of how it will inspire a nation and generations of people heretofore marginalized. Today I believe that truly, anything is possible.
That having been said, if McCain wins I'm going to Mexico.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
If you're gonna drink the Kool-Aid, read the label
Here are some biblical fun facts for those who think Palin et al have a clue:
There is but one mention in the entire bible about homosexuality. And that is in the old testament. "Man shall not lie with man as with woman". Maybe that's the Isrealite way of saying "you might be able to leave the Missus unsatisfied but Bruce from the leather bar is gonna want his!". Jesus Christ is never quoted as having said a word about it, one way or the other. We do know he never married and he hung around with 12 other dudes. No word on where he stood regarding Fire Island vs. the Hamptons.
Jesus Christ was a Socialist or at very least he believed in a welfare state. He fed the hungry without asking them about their personal responsibility or lack of financial acuity; he overturned the merchant's tables in the temple as a desecration of God's altar. Apparently, capitalism, when not in the service of the people, offended him. He even supported taxation and big government-"give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's". Krikey-Jesus is a Democrat! I'd put that man on Obama's ticket but a Jew and a black man will get elected together exactly N-E-V-E-R!
Christ neither judged not gave anyone permission to stand in judgment of anyone else, e.g. "Judge not lest ye be judged" and the ever popular "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". Oh my, your lord and savior was a liberal to boot!
God must be a humanist: "whatever you do to the least among you, you do to me." Nice, next time you burn a cross on someone's lawn or desecrate a funeral chanting about 'fags" or refuse to help the poor because you feel they should have known better, you can remind yourself that you've just done the same to God's only son. Ouch!
I know I'm preaching to the choir. If you're reading this, chances are you're either an atheist or at least agnostic, but surely a liberal minded thinker. Let me at least share with you what I wish I could with those who've drunk the Kool Aid.
If you are going to believe in this stuff and shove it down everyone's throat then for the love of your God, at least know it well yourself. Christ had a beautiful philosophy and it has nothing to do with the agenda of the Christian right. If you are going to quote the bible don't forget the bits about women remaining silent (see Corinthians and half of the old testament), multiple wives being OK (hey, the Mormons didn't make it up out of whole cloth), killing your sons if they grow their hair long and let's not forget the rules on the proper punishment of slaves! How deluded are these people really? How much must they loathe themselves that they spend their lives in judgment and condemnation of others? Which, by the way, is in complete opposition to the philosophy they claim to espouse.
I get that ignorance really is bliss. But abdicating control of your own life for the panacea and protection of a myth is a devil's bargain; it takes so much more effort to deny reason. All I'm asking is that if you are going to drink the Kool Aid of religion at least read the label and get the directions right. It won't be as much fun as looking down on others from the heights of your self-proclaimed moral superiority, but you'll do less harm and might even actually do someone some good. Including yourself. Because if there is a God and he sees what a mess his followers have made of the instructions he left behind-he is gonna be pissed!
There is but one mention in the entire bible about homosexuality. And that is in the old testament. "Man shall not lie with man as with woman". Maybe that's the Isrealite way of saying "you might be able to leave the Missus unsatisfied but Bruce from the leather bar is gonna want his!". Jesus Christ is never quoted as having said a word about it, one way or the other. We do know he never married and he hung around with 12 other dudes. No word on where he stood regarding Fire Island vs. the Hamptons.
Jesus Christ was a Socialist or at very least he believed in a welfare state. He fed the hungry without asking them about their personal responsibility or lack of financial acuity; he overturned the merchant's tables in the temple as a desecration of God's altar. Apparently, capitalism, when not in the service of the people, offended him. He even supported taxation and big government-"give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's". Krikey-Jesus is a Democrat! I'd put that man on Obama's ticket but a Jew and a black man will get elected together exactly N-E-V-E-R!
Christ neither judged not gave anyone permission to stand in judgment of anyone else, e.g. "Judge not lest ye be judged" and the ever popular "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". Oh my, your lord and savior was a liberal to boot!
God must be a humanist: "whatever you do to the least among you, you do to me." Nice, next time you burn a cross on someone's lawn or desecrate a funeral chanting about 'fags" or refuse to help the poor because you feel they should have known better, you can remind yourself that you've just done the same to God's only son. Ouch!
I know I'm preaching to the choir. If you're reading this, chances are you're either an atheist or at least agnostic, but surely a liberal minded thinker. Let me at least share with you what I wish I could with those who've drunk the Kool Aid.
If you are going to believe in this stuff and shove it down everyone's throat then for the love of your God, at least know it well yourself. Christ had a beautiful philosophy and it has nothing to do with the agenda of the Christian right. If you are going to quote the bible don't forget the bits about women remaining silent (see Corinthians and half of the old testament), multiple wives being OK (hey, the Mormons didn't make it up out of whole cloth), killing your sons if they grow their hair long and let's not forget the rules on the proper punishment of slaves! How deluded are these people really? How much must they loathe themselves that they spend their lives in judgment and condemnation of others? Which, by the way, is in complete opposition to the philosophy they claim to espouse.
I get that ignorance really is bliss. But abdicating control of your own life for the panacea and protection of a myth is a devil's bargain; it takes so much more effort to deny reason. All I'm asking is that if you are going to drink the Kool Aid of religion at least read the label and get the directions right. It won't be as much fun as looking down on others from the heights of your self-proclaimed moral superiority, but you'll do less harm and might even actually do someone some good. Including yourself. Because if there is a God and he sees what a mess his followers have made of the instructions he left behind-he is gonna be pissed!
Save a Pig-Boycott Lipstick
My wonderful, brilliant friend Claire just forwarded me an article by Richard Dawkins, a noted Atheist writer. In this article Mr. Dawkins decries the VP nomination of Sarah Palin as potentially the most dangerous nomination in the history of elections. Here's a link, read it for yourself http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080/page/1. Of course I agree with Dawkins, however the question he leaves unanswered is the "why" of it. To whit, I pose the following questions to all of you:
Has the entire Republican party lost their minds and so completely drunk the Kool Aid that no one on that side of the fence is going to stand up and take their party back from the religious freaks that high-jacked it during and after Reagan?
Where, oh where, are the Masons when you need them? Or is this all a plot by some secret intellectual organization to cull the herd of humanity by allowing the stupid to run the show until they obliterate half of us?
Or worse, is this a plot by some very evil but very smart people to feed the cud chewing masses a exemplar of their own mediocrity and thus stultify the public and run the country themselves behind the scenes?
Can things really be as broken as they seem, with the extremes of both sides having completely road blocked any discourse between the middles?
Is anybody going to call Palin on her ideological mind-fuck of a statement that her daughter's pregnancy and the continuation of same was (and I quote) "HER CHOICE"! What the hell? This woman would deny every woman in America not only the right to choose but the right to be informed. Yet she applauds that her daughter has availed herself of the very rights she seeks to destroy? It simply baffles the mind!
Is the temporary numbing that religion and faith provide people like Palin, really worth the price of having to pretend for the rest of your life that you have no doubts? And if you have no doubts, then what about having relinquished responsibility and ownership of your own existence in trade for the protection of a beneficent despot?
There are defining ideological differences between the parties. Most simply put, Republicans want government out of your wallet and Democrats want it out of your bedroom. For the record, I do not think that the Democrats and the Republicans have become the same shit. I do agree that they have become shit-but very different flavors. However, I still believe in a 2 party system. Don't agree? Check out Latin America. Stay in Argentina too long and you might get elected-they've got shit loads of parties and a new president every 5 weeks.
My argument against this woman is not about the political differences, it's about competence. I fear for a country where a party that once couched their misanthropy in logic now throws common sense to the wind and accepts the lowest common denominator as it's representative. This woman is stupid, uneducated, uninformed, hypocritical, an extremist, a liar, and what frightens me most of all is this: who is waiting behind the wings to pull this puppet's strings if she manages to get into power? She's going to turn to someone for answers and it won't be a think tank or a brain trust. It'll be her moron pastor or worse-all the cronies that gave us 8 long years of Bush!
Some would say that a people gets the government it deserves. For the longest time I thought this unfair as I NEVER voted for Bush. But then I realize that so very many of us who have a mind, who get it, never vote, never speak up. The intelligent have ceded the floor to the defectives. The football players are running the debate team. We are like Rome in the final years of the empire. We have perverted the brilliant gift of our founding fathers and corrupted the beautiful experiment. We are now fat, dumb and unhappy. Hot Pockets are the new bread and gossip is the new circus. But bread and circuses, then and now, are the distraction of choice for a population reluctant to admit that their ignorance has opened the barbarian's door.
Has the entire Republican party lost their minds and so completely drunk the Kool Aid that no one on that side of the fence is going to stand up and take their party back from the religious freaks that high-jacked it during and after Reagan?
Where, oh where, are the Masons when you need them? Or is this all a plot by some secret intellectual organization to cull the herd of humanity by allowing the stupid to run the show until they obliterate half of us?
Or worse, is this a plot by some very evil but very smart people to feed the cud chewing masses a exemplar of their own mediocrity and thus stultify the public and run the country themselves behind the scenes?
Can things really be as broken as they seem, with the extremes of both sides having completely road blocked any discourse between the middles?
Is anybody going to call Palin on her ideological mind-fuck of a statement that her daughter's pregnancy and the continuation of same was (and I quote) "HER CHOICE"! What the hell? This woman would deny every woman in America not only the right to choose but the right to be informed. Yet she applauds that her daughter has availed herself of the very rights she seeks to destroy? It simply baffles the mind!
Is the temporary numbing that religion and faith provide people like Palin, really worth the price of having to pretend for the rest of your life that you have no doubts? And if you have no doubts, then what about having relinquished responsibility and ownership of your own existence in trade for the protection of a beneficent despot?
There are defining ideological differences between the parties. Most simply put, Republicans want government out of your wallet and Democrats want it out of your bedroom. For the record, I do not think that the Democrats and the Republicans have become the same shit. I do agree that they have become shit-but very different flavors. However, I still believe in a 2 party system. Don't agree? Check out Latin America. Stay in Argentina too long and you might get elected-they've got shit loads of parties and a new president every 5 weeks.
My argument against this woman is not about the political differences, it's about competence. I fear for a country where a party that once couched their misanthropy in logic now throws common sense to the wind and accepts the lowest common denominator as it's representative. This woman is stupid, uneducated, uninformed, hypocritical, an extremist, a liar, and what frightens me most of all is this: who is waiting behind the wings to pull this puppet's strings if she manages to get into power? She's going to turn to someone for answers and it won't be a think tank or a brain trust. It'll be her moron pastor or worse-all the cronies that gave us 8 long years of Bush!
Some would say that a people gets the government it deserves. For the longest time I thought this unfair as I NEVER voted for Bush. But then I realize that so very many of us who have a mind, who get it, never vote, never speak up. The intelligent have ceded the floor to the defectives. The football players are running the debate team. We are like Rome in the final years of the empire. We have perverted the brilliant gift of our founding fathers and corrupted the beautiful experiment. We are now fat, dumb and unhappy. Hot Pockets are the new bread and gossip is the new circus. But bread and circuses, then and now, are the distraction of choice for a population reluctant to admit that their ignorance has opened the barbarian's door.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Is this election over yet so the emails can stop?
My friend's mom is wonderful person. She is bright and caring and raised one of the most brilliant people I have ever known. We are, however, diametrically opposed when it comes to politics. Recently she sent out an email with a bunch of "facts" about Obama. Her daughter promptly let her have it. Here's what I added. (I had to be nicer 'cause she's not my mom and I don't want to piss her off . Remonstrance or not, I was raised in Brooklyn dammit and we respect our elders).
Political emails are a minefield. I'm not against political discourse but muck racking is pointless. As is the idea that you're going to change someone's mind with an email full of half truths and innuendo. At a minimum, I'm guessing that no one on this list is less than 30 and probably has already formed some pretty solid ideas about where they stand. I'm sure the liberals and the democrats could come up with some pretty choice stuff about McCain but would it matter? I could tell you real but disturbing facts about him and his supporters would probably not blink an eye. On some level we all have the courage of our convictions. It is naive to think that the other side doesn't as well. As Claire said, the issues are point of the exercise-where does a candidate stand and do you agree with his/her position? That's the discussion we should be having. If you are anti-abortion it wouldn't matter if his name were Ben Franklin-you'd still not vote for him.The personal baloney is useless. Not many of us could run for office if our personal lives were examined closely enough. And those who could clearly don't have enough life experience to qualify. Nobody here is running for sainthood. Clinton was an unapologetic philanderer and the economy soared. Nixon was a thief but he got us out of Viet Nam and opened China (although we might regret that one). Jimmy Carter is pure as the driven snow and let's face it; while a super nice guy, not the most effective president we ever had.What's his religion? Who cares! Anybody remember separation of church and state? As for me, I'm holding out for an atheist. I appreciate the earnestness of those who forward these things. I appreciate that you believe your world view to be correct and care enough about the people on your list to share it with them and try to bring them into the fold. Clearly the intentions are good. And the exchange of well formed ideas is one of the best parts of living in a democracy. But when we send out emails that haven't been properly vetted, simply because they support our position, we do a disservice to the recipient and to our own beliefs.
Political emails are a minefield. I'm not against political discourse but muck racking is pointless. As is the idea that you're going to change someone's mind with an email full of half truths and innuendo. At a minimum, I'm guessing that no one on this list is less than 30 and probably has already formed some pretty solid ideas about where they stand. I'm sure the liberals and the democrats could come up with some pretty choice stuff about McCain but would it matter? I could tell you real but disturbing facts about him and his supporters would probably not blink an eye. On some level we all have the courage of our convictions. It is naive to think that the other side doesn't as well. As Claire said, the issues are point of the exercise-where does a candidate stand and do you agree with his/her position? That's the discussion we should be having. If you are anti-abortion it wouldn't matter if his name were Ben Franklin-you'd still not vote for him.The personal baloney is useless. Not many of us could run for office if our personal lives were examined closely enough. And those who could clearly don't have enough life experience to qualify. Nobody here is running for sainthood. Clinton was an unapologetic philanderer and the economy soared. Nixon was a thief but he got us out of Viet Nam and opened China (although we might regret that one). Jimmy Carter is pure as the driven snow and let's face it; while a super nice guy, not the most effective president we ever had.What's his religion? Who cares! Anybody remember separation of church and state? As for me, I'm holding out for an atheist. I appreciate the earnestness of those who forward these things. I appreciate that you believe your world view to be correct and care enough about the people on your list to share it with them and try to bring them into the fold. Clearly the intentions are good. And the exchange of well formed ideas is one of the best parts of living in a democracy. But when we send out emails that haven't been properly vetted, simply because they support our position, we do a disservice to the recipient and to our own beliefs.
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