Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
Martin Luther King, Memphis,TN on April 3rd, 1968, the day before his assassination.
When I think of death and of dying it isn't the fact that there is nothing afterwards that disturbs me. It isn't the fear of whatever pain may accompany the event. It is the idea that a million wonderful things will come that I will not live to see. Now I can say that I have lived to see the fulfillment of the promise upon which our country was founded. I have lived to see a time when all men are allowed the pursuit of happiness.
There are a great many more things I hope to see: a country where protection under the law is not dependent on sexual orientation; a victory over sexism like last night's victory over racism when a woman becomes our president. I'm pretty sure the Martians will land in Times Square after I breath my last, but I have lived to see this and truly, it is enough.
I mourn though, for the men who dared to dream of this day. What a pity that neither Martin Luther King nor Coretta Scott King lived to see this day. But their children did. And that's why they sacrificed what they did. Some time ago in a fit of feminism I reminded my goddaughter that there was nothing a man could do that she couldn't. Her reply? "Who doesn't know that?". And while it saddened me to think that she has no clue about the struggle that came before to grant her this optimism now, I was grateful that she would never know the oppression that had been overcome. Some day, the poor or black or Hispanic or Asian child will never remember a time when a black man couldn't be President. There will come a time when racism will be the exclusive and anachronistic province of provincials and the ignorant (although I believe it already is for the most part).
Somewhere, I hope, in a heaven I don't believe in, on this day there is joy for Medgar Evers, Malcom X, Emmet Till, the murdered voter registration workers, Rosa Parks and the countless millions who came in chains to build a nation which rejected them and their children. On this day I say "thank you" not to God, but to all the brave who came before. This is indeed the promised land of which Martin Luther King spoke. And this day proves it. Perhaps at last, we Americans, black, white, male, female, gay and straight, We the People have overcome.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
What Dreams May Come...
I am absolutely giddy so you'll please excuse any bad grammar or improper verb agreement. Today is not a day for my OCD. I write this early on the morning of the most momentous election day ever. I hope I'm writing this on the morning of the day when America really lived up to its potential and elected her first black president!
This isn't a racial thing in the way you may be thinking. I'm not saying that if John McCain were black I would have voted for him just as a thank you for 400 years of oppression. I wouldn't vote for a person based on race anymore than I voted for Obama when I still had Hillary as a choice. I'm rejoicing at the idea that Martin Luther King was right: the day really has come when a man is judged by the content of his character and not the color of his skin.
Imagine what this means! That someday, if a qualified person were to appear, we could have an Asian president, a gay president, a Hispanic president, a Jewish president or any combination/permutation thereof. I used to call presidential elections on the number of vowels in a candidate's name-anything too ethnic would never make it. Remember Dukakis? Or Ferraro? Guiliani? Yup, neither does anyone else. And with the notable exceptions of Kennedy and Eisenhower how many names can you recall that didn't sound like something out of the social register? I know "McCain" is an ethnic, Irish name but "Obama" is parsecs further away from middle-America's comfort zone.
Of course this means that we must stop counting on rich white folks to educate their kids properly just so we end up with a Chief Executive who has half a brain (the Bushes tried, I'm sure). We're going to have to start pumping real money into our public schools because maybe, just maybe, the poorest Dominican in Washington Heights really does have the same chance as the richest member of Skull and Bones.
Don't misconstrue: I always love my country. For the past eight years I loved her like the brain damaged trauma victim she's become. But today I feel something more. Pride I think it is. Pride in the ideals that make us different from every other place on the planet. The fact that reason, intellect and common sense beat out fear and cronyism and racism. Our founding fathers were nothing short of gods (albeit with clay feet) and perhaps we have finally lived up to the challenge of E Pluribus Unum-out of many we are one. And this is proved by the fact that we've chosen a person who exemplifies the diversity which makes us great. For the first time our president won't look and sound like a standard bearer for the priviledged few. We've gone and picked a black man with a funny name to represent us all and the world will take note that perhaps the teenage schoolyard bully has finally matured into its power. And to think it only took 232 years!
I've always believed that all people are created equal-I just don't think they stay that way. But this one event will do alot to level out the playing field in terms of how it will inspire a nation and generations of people heretofore marginalized. Today I believe that truly, anything is possible.
That having been said, if McCain wins I'm going to Mexico.
This isn't a racial thing in the way you may be thinking. I'm not saying that if John McCain were black I would have voted for him just as a thank you for 400 years of oppression. I wouldn't vote for a person based on race anymore than I voted for Obama when I still had Hillary as a choice. I'm rejoicing at the idea that Martin Luther King was right: the day really has come when a man is judged by the content of his character and not the color of his skin.
Imagine what this means! That someday, if a qualified person were to appear, we could have an Asian president, a gay president, a Hispanic president, a Jewish president or any combination/permutation thereof. I used to call presidential elections on the number of vowels in a candidate's name-anything too ethnic would never make it. Remember Dukakis? Or Ferraro? Guiliani? Yup, neither does anyone else. And with the notable exceptions of Kennedy and Eisenhower how many names can you recall that didn't sound like something out of the social register? I know "McCain" is an ethnic, Irish name but "Obama" is parsecs further away from middle-America's comfort zone.
Of course this means that we must stop counting on rich white folks to educate their kids properly just so we end up with a Chief Executive who has half a brain (the Bushes tried, I'm sure). We're going to have to start pumping real money into our public schools because maybe, just maybe, the poorest Dominican in Washington Heights really does have the same chance as the richest member of Skull and Bones.
Don't misconstrue: I always love my country. For the past eight years I loved her like the brain damaged trauma victim she's become. But today I feel something more. Pride I think it is. Pride in the ideals that make us different from every other place on the planet. The fact that reason, intellect and common sense beat out fear and cronyism and racism. Our founding fathers were nothing short of gods (albeit with clay feet) and perhaps we have finally lived up to the challenge of E Pluribus Unum-out of many we are one. And this is proved by the fact that we've chosen a person who exemplifies the diversity which makes us great. For the first time our president won't look and sound like a standard bearer for the priviledged few. We've gone and picked a black man with a funny name to represent us all and the world will take note that perhaps the teenage schoolyard bully has finally matured into its power. And to think it only took 232 years!
I've always believed that all people are created equal-I just don't think they stay that way. But this one event will do alot to level out the playing field in terms of how it will inspire a nation and generations of people heretofore marginalized. Today I believe that truly, anything is possible.
That having been said, if McCain wins I'm going to Mexico.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
If you're gonna drink the Kool-Aid, read the label
Here are some biblical fun facts for those who think Palin et al have a clue:
There is but one mention in the entire bible about homosexuality. And that is in the old testament. "Man shall not lie with man as with woman". Maybe that's the Isrealite way of saying "you might be able to leave the Missus unsatisfied but Bruce from the leather bar is gonna want his!". Jesus Christ is never quoted as having said a word about it, one way or the other. We do know he never married and he hung around with 12 other dudes. No word on where he stood regarding Fire Island vs. the Hamptons.
Jesus Christ was a Socialist or at very least he believed in a welfare state. He fed the hungry without asking them about their personal responsibility or lack of financial acuity; he overturned the merchant's tables in the temple as a desecration of God's altar. Apparently, capitalism, when not in the service of the people, offended him. He even supported taxation and big government-"give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's". Krikey-Jesus is a Democrat! I'd put that man on Obama's ticket but a Jew and a black man will get elected together exactly N-E-V-E-R!
Christ neither judged not gave anyone permission to stand in judgment of anyone else, e.g. "Judge not lest ye be judged" and the ever popular "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". Oh my, your lord and savior was a liberal to boot!
God must be a humanist: "whatever you do to the least among you, you do to me." Nice, next time you burn a cross on someone's lawn or desecrate a funeral chanting about 'fags" or refuse to help the poor because you feel they should have known better, you can remind yourself that you've just done the same to God's only son. Ouch!
I know I'm preaching to the choir. If you're reading this, chances are you're either an atheist or at least agnostic, but surely a liberal minded thinker. Let me at least share with you what I wish I could with those who've drunk the Kool Aid.
If you are going to believe in this stuff and shove it down everyone's throat then for the love of your God, at least know it well yourself. Christ had a beautiful philosophy and it has nothing to do with the agenda of the Christian right. If you are going to quote the bible don't forget the bits about women remaining silent (see Corinthians and half of the old testament), multiple wives being OK (hey, the Mormons didn't make it up out of whole cloth), killing your sons if they grow their hair long and let's not forget the rules on the proper punishment of slaves! How deluded are these people really? How much must they loathe themselves that they spend their lives in judgment and condemnation of others? Which, by the way, is in complete opposition to the philosophy they claim to espouse.
I get that ignorance really is bliss. But abdicating control of your own life for the panacea and protection of a myth is a devil's bargain; it takes so much more effort to deny reason. All I'm asking is that if you are going to drink the Kool Aid of religion at least read the label and get the directions right. It won't be as much fun as looking down on others from the heights of your self-proclaimed moral superiority, but you'll do less harm and might even actually do someone some good. Including yourself. Because if there is a God and he sees what a mess his followers have made of the instructions he left behind-he is gonna be pissed!
There is but one mention in the entire bible about homosexuality. And that is in the old testament. "Man shall not lie with man as with woman". Maybe that's the Isrealite way of saying "you might be able to leave the Missus unsatisfied but Bruce from the leather bar is gonna want his!". Jesus Christ is never quoted as having said a word about it, one way or the other. We do know he never married and he hung around with 12 other dudes. No word on where he stood regarding Fire Island vs. the Hamptons.
Jesus Christ was a Socialist or at very least he believed in a welfare state. He fed the hungry without asking them about their personal responsibility or lack of financial acuity; he overturned the merchant's tables in the temple as a desecration of God's altar. Apparently, capitalism, when not in the service of the people, offended him. He even supported taxation and big government-"give to Cesar what is Cesar's and to God what is God's". Krikey-Jesus is a Democrat! I'd put that man on Obama's ticket but a Jew and a black man will get elected together exactly N-E-V-E-R!
Christ neither judged not gave anyone permission to stand in judgment of anyone else, e.g. "Judge not lest ye be judged" and the ever popular "He who is without sin, cast the first stone". Oh my, your lord and savior was a liberal to boot!
God must be a humanist: "whatever you do to the least among you, you do to me." Nice, next time you burn a cross on someone's lawn or desecrate a funeral chanting about 'fags" or refuse to help the poor because you feel they should have known better, you can remind yourself that you've just done the same to God's only son. Ouch!
I know I'm preaching to the choir. If you're reading this, chances are you're either an atheist or at least agnostic, but surely a liberal minded thinker. Let me at least share with you what I wish I could with those who've drunk the Kool Aid.
If you are going to believe in this stuff and shove it down everyone's throat then for the love of your God, at least know it well yourself. Christ had a beautiful philosophy and it has nothing to do with the agenda of the Christian right. If you are going to quote the bible don't forget the bits about women remaining silent (see Corinthians and half of the old testament), multiple wives being OK (hey, the Mormons didn't make it up out of whole cloth), killing your sons if they grow their hair long and let's not forget the rules on the proper punishment of slaves! How deluded are these people really? How much must they loathe themselves that they spend their lives in judgment and condemnation of others? Which, by the way, is in complete opposition to the philosophy they claim to espouse.
I get that ignorance really is bliss. But abdicating control of your own life for the panacea and protection of a myth is a devil's bargain; it takes so much more effort to deny reason. All I'm asking is that if you are going to drink the Kool Aid of religion at least read the label and get the directions right. It won't be as much fun as looking down on others from the heights of your self-proclaimed moral superiority, but you'll do less harm and might even actually do someone some good. Including yourself. Because if there is a God and he sees what a mess his followers have made of the instructions he left behind-he is gonna be pissed!
Save a Pig-Boycott Lipstick
My wonderful, brilliant friend Claire just forwarded me an article by Richard Dawkins, a noted Atheist writer. In this article Mr. Dawkins decries the VP nomination of Sarah Palin as potentially the most dangerous nomination in the history of elections. Here's a link, read it for yourself http://www.newsweek.com/id/160080/page/1. Of course I agree with Dawkins, however the question he leaves unanswered is the "why" of it. To whit, I pose the following questions to all of you:
Has the entire Republican party lost their minds and so completely drunk the Kool Aid that no one on that side of the fence is going to stand up and take their party back from the religious freaks that high-jacked it during and after Reagan?
Where, oh where, are the Masons when you need them? Or is this all a plot by some secret intellectual organization to cull the herd of humanity by allowing the stupid to run the show until they obliterate half of us?
Or worse, is this a plot by some very evil but very smart people to feed the cud chewing masses a exemplar of their own mediocrity and thus stultify the public and run the country themselves behind the scenes?
Can things really be as broken as they seem, with the extremes of both sides having completely road blocked any discourse between the middles?
Is anybody going to call Palin on her ideological mind-fuck of a statement that her daughter's pregnancy and the continuation of same was (and I quote) "HER CHOICE"! What the hell? This woman would deny every woman in America not only the right to choose but the right to be informed. Yet she applauds that her daughter has availed herself of the very rights she seeks to destroy? It simply baffles the mind!
Is the temporary numbing that religion and faith provide people like Palin, really worth the price of having to pretend for the rest of your life that you have no doubts? And if you have no doubts, then what about having relinquished responsibility and ownership of your own existence in trade for the protection of a beneficent despot?
There are defining ideological differences between the parties. Most simply put, Republicans want government out of your wallet and Democrats want it out of your bedroom. For the record, I do not think that the Democrats and the Republicans have become the same shit. I do agree that they have become shit-but very different flavors. However, I still believe in a 2 party system. Don't agree? Check out Latin America. Stay in Argentina too long and you might get elected-they've got shit loads of parties and a new president every 5 weeks.
My argument against this woman is not about the political differences, it's about competence. I fear for a country where a party that once couched their misanthropy in logic now throws common sense to the wind and accepts the lowest common denominator as it's representative. This woman is stupid, uneducated, uninformed, hypocritical, an extremist, a liar, and what frightens me most of all is this: who is waiting behind the wings to pull this puppet's strings if she manages to get into power? She's going to turn to someone for answers and it won't be a think tank or a brain trust. It'll be her moron pastor or worse-all the cronies that gave us 8 long years of Bush!
Some would say that a people gets the government it deserves. For the longest time I thought this unfair as I NEVER voted for Bush. But then I realize that so very many of us who have a mind, who get it, never vote, never speak up. The intelligent have ceded the floor to the defectives. The football players are running the debate team. We are like Rome in the final years of the empire. We have perverted the brilliant gift of our founding fathers and corrupted the beautiful experiment. We are now fat, dumb and unhappy. Hot Pockets are the new bread and gossip is the new circus. But bread and circuses, then and now, are the distraction of choice for a population reluctant to admit that their ignorance has opened the barbarian's door.
Has the entire Republican party lost their minds and so completely drunk the Kool Aid that no one on that side of the fence is going to stand up and take their party back from the religious freaks that high-jacked it during and after Reagan?
Where, oh where, are the Masons when you need them? Or is this all a plot by some secret intellectual organization to cull the herd of humanity by allowing the stupid to run the show until they obliterate half of us?
Or worse, is this a plot by some very evil but very smart people to feed the cud chewing masses a exemplar of their own mediocrity and thus stultify the public and run the country themselves behind the scenes?
Can things really be as broken as they seem, with the extremes of both sides having completely road blocked any discourse between the middles?
Is anybody going to call Palin on her ideological mind-fuck of a statement that her daughter's pregnancy and the continuation of same was (and I quote) "HER CHOICE"! What the hell? This woman would deny every woman in America not only the right to choose but the right to be informed. Yet she applauds that her daughter has availed herself of the very rights she seeks to destroy? It simply baffles the mind!
Is the temporary numbing that religion and faith provide people like Palin, really worth the price of having to pretend for the rest of your life that you have no doubts? And if you have no doubts, then what about having relinquished responsibility and ownership of your own existence in trade for the protection of a beneficent despot?
There are defining ideological differences between the parties. Most simply put, Republicans want government out of your wallet and Democrats want it out of your bedroom. For the record, I do not think that the Democrats and the Republicans have become the same shit. I do agree that they have become shit-but very different flavors. However, I still believe in a 2 party system. Don't agree? Check out Latin America. Stay in Argentina too long and you might get elected-they've got shit loads of parties and a new president every 5 weeks.
My argument against this woman is not about the political differences, it's about competence. I fear for a country where a party that once couched their misanthropy in logic now throws common sense to the wind and accepts the lowest common denominator as it's representative. This woman is stupid, uneducated, uninformed, hypocritical, an extremist, a liar, and what frightens me most of all is this: who is waiting behind the wings to pull this puppet's strings if she manages to get into power? She's going to turn to someone for answers and it won't be a think tank or a brain trust. It'll be her moron pastor or worse-all the cronies that gave us 8 long years of Bush!
Some would say that a people gets the government it deserves. For the longest time I thought this unfair as I NEVER voted for Bush. But then I realize that so very many of us who have a mind, who get it, never vote, never speak up. The intelligent have ceded the floor to the defectives. The football players are running the debate team. We are like Rome in the final years of the empire. We have perverted the brilliant gift of our founding fathers and corrupted the beautiful experiment. We are now fat, dumb and unhappy. Hot Pockets are the new bread and gossip is the new circus. But bread and circuses, then and now, are the distraction of choice for a population reluctant to admit that their ignorance has opened the barbarian's door.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Is this election over yet so the emails can stop?
My friend's mom is wonderful person. She is bright and caring and raised one of the most brilliant people I have ever known. We are, however, diametrically opposed when it comes to politics. Recently she sent out an email with a bunch of "facts" about Obama. Her daughter promptly let her have it. Here's what I added. (I had to be nicer 'cause she's not my mom and I don't want to piss her off . Remonstrance or not, I was raised in Brooklyn dammit and we respect our elders).
Political emails are a minefield. I'm not against political discourse but muck racking is pointless. As is the idea that you're going to change someone's mind with an email full of half truths and innuendo. At a minimum, I'm guessing that no one on this list is less than 30 and probably has already formed some pretty solid ideas about where they stand. I'm sure the liberals and the democrats could come up with some pretty choice stuff about McCain but would it matter? I could tell you real but disturbing facts about him and his supporters would probably not blink an eye. On some level we all have the courage of our convictions. It is naive to think that the other side doesn't as well. As Claire said, the issues are point of the exercise-where does a candidate stand and do you agree with his/her position? That's the discussion we should be having. If you are anti-abortion it wouldn't matter if his name were Ben Franklin-you'd still not vote for him.The personal baloney is useless. Not many of us could run for office if our personal lives were examined closely enough. And those who could clearly don't have enough life experience to qualify. Nobody here is running for sainthood. Clinton was an unapologetic philanderer and the economy soared. Nixon was a thief but he got us out of Viet Nam and opened China (although we might regret that one). Jimmy Carter is pure as the driven snow and let's face it; while a super nice guy, not the most effective president we ever had.What's his religion? Who cares! Anybody remember separation of church and state? As for me, I'm holding out for an atheist. I appreciate the earnestness of those who forward these things. I appreciate that you believe your world view to be correct and care enough about the people on your list to share it with them and try to bring them into the fold. Clearly the intentions are good. And the exchange of well formed ideas is one of the best parts of living in a democracy. But when we send out emails that haven't been properly vetted, simply because they support our position, we do a disservice to the recipient and to our own beliefs.
Political emails are a minefield. I'm not against political discourse but muck racking is pointless. As is the idea that you're going to change someone's mind with an email full of half truths and innuendo. At a minimum, I'm guessing that no one on this list is less than 30 and probably has already formed some pretty solid ideas about where they stand. I'm sure the liberals and the democrats could come up with some pretty choice stuff about McCain but would it matter? I could tell you real but disturbing facts about him and his supporters would probably not blink an eye. On some level we all have the courage of our convictions. It is naive to think that the other side doesn't as well. As Claire said, the issues are point of the exercise-where does a candidate stand and do you agree with his/her position? That's the discussion we should be having. If you are anti-abortion it wouldn't matter if his name were Ben Franklin-you'd still not vote for him.The personal baloney is useless. Not many of us could run for office if our personal lives were examined closely enough. And those who could clearly don't have enough life experience to qualify. Nobody here is running for sainthood. Clinton was an unapologetic philanderer and the economy soared. Nixon was a thief but he got us out of Viet Nam and opened China (although we might regret that one). Jimmy Carter is pure as the driven snow and let's face it; while a super nice guy, not the most effective president we ever had.What's his religion? Who cares! Anybody remember separation of church and state? As for me, I'm holding out for an atheist. I appreciate the earnestness of those who forward these things. I appreciate that you believe your world view to be correct and care enough about the people on your list to share it with them and try to bring them into the fold. Clearly the intentions are good. And the exchange of well formed ideas is one of the best parts of living in a democracy. But when we send out emails that haven't been properly vetted, simply because they support our position, we do a disservice to the recipient and to our own beliefs.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Maybe there is a God after all?
TOPEKA The Topeka Fire Department is investigating a small fire outside of a church whose members protest at soldier’s funerals.
A fence and garage at Fred Phelps’ Westboro Baptist Church became engulfed in flames early Saturday, according to the Topeka Capitol-Journal Web site. The fire did not spread to the church building.
Topeka Fire Marshal Greg Bailey said the cause of the fire has not been determined. However, a spokeswoman for the church, Shirley Phelps-Roper, said she believes it was deliberately set.
Members of the church frequently picket military funerals, arguing that the deaths of U.S. troops overseas are part of God’s punishment for the nation’s tolerance of homosexuality.
Bailey said damage is estimated at $10,000.
Associated PressSigh.....
If I were a "joiner", (which I am not) I would consider myself an Ethical Humanist. This belief system (religion, if you will) is based on the concept of "deed, not creed" meaning that no stock is put in the mystical. Faith, especially in a deity, is not part of the program. The secular humanist believes in the ethics of loving one's neighbor for the sake of doing so and not for biblical reasons. That "doing the right thing" prevents, for instance, Mookie flinging the garbage can through the pizzeria window.
That having been said I am in the throes of a moral quandry because as a secular, ethical , humanist I forbid myself from taking joy in any other human being's sorrow. And yet...
You know that kid on the Simpson that always beats up Bart? Read this in his voice and direct it at Rev. Phelps: HA HA!
If you didn't get it from the AP clip above, the Westboro Baptist church has taken it as their mission in life to (in the name of a peaceful loving god) desecrate the funerals of US servicemen and women by holding up placards that say lovely god-like things such "God hates Fags" and "Your Son's Death is God's Retribution for Homosexuality". Then there's the Reverend himself. Some days, ain't it great to be a Catholic? Sure our guys are pederasts. But they are pederasts with degrees from accredited colleges. What seminary cranked out that freak? And Baptist? I thought they were the happy protestants what with the big hats and pastel suits and the clapping in church. Man, the Methodists will never let them live this one down.
On Saturday, a garage on church property caught fire. According to reports the cause of the fire hasn't yet been determined but if Occam had anything to say about it, I wouldn't go looking for zebras, ya know? This guy has managed to offend, insult, and injure everyone from the gays to the gun nuts, from the bikers to the priests. The question isn't "who set the fire". The question is "what took them so long?"
But the best part is that this close minded, first class hate monger has the audacity to go running to the government because he may just be the victim of a hate crime. Screw Allanis Morissette. That shit is ironic.
My husband is a former Marine, I have loads of friends in the Navy, some still active, some overseas. There are wonderful people in my life whom I adore and respect and admire who, alas, love Liza with a Z more than me. So you can see why this guy offends me on every level and I don't offend easily. To my very core I want to LMFAO! in capital letters three feet tall. But what does that make me if I do? If I allow him and his screwed up view of the world to make me hate as he hates, to make me feel schadenfreude instead of sympathy.
Yes, it is pleasurable when the universe aligns itself in such a way that people who richly deserved to get screwed actually do get screwed. In this case I am taking the moral high road and trying really, really hard not to enjoy it quite so much. For the first time ever, I am actually hoping for a case of divine retribution.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Celebrity Oblige
Once upon time in this great city of New York and in all the metropolises of the world there existed a class of people we shall call, for lack of a better word, "society". In some countries access to this social strata was limited by birth, in others by finance. But regardless of how they got there it was understood that, as the adage says, to whom much is given much is expected. Hence, nobles fought wars, grande dames and dowagers did charity work, robber barons played philanthropist. Somewhere along the line all that changed and so died the concept of noblesse oblige. Gone are the days when power, prestige or wealth carried with it an implied responsibility to maybe give a crap for one's fellow man (even if that fellow man was your victim to begin with). Or at least pretend. People now are famous for the stupidest, emptiest reasons conceivable. And even though their grip on this adulation is faint at best they still refuse to do anything that might in some way make them worthy of what they've gotten for nothing.
I refuse to think that anyone owes anyone anything (barring the notable exception of parents to their children under the age of 18 but we all know how well that usually turns out). And so I'd never say that the rich are responsible for the poor or the talented for the useless. It's just that it doesn't seem sporting when celebrities don't have the kindness in them to throw the teeniest bone at the imbeciles who worship them.
The Kennedy family, for all their faults, have a history of public service. The eldest son died in the war (he crashed after volunteering for a suicide mission-and he was the lucky one). Two sons murdered while in or on their way to the presidency. We'll get to Teddy later but really, did Massachusetts need one more pregnant Polish girl? I think not. Imagine the sacrifices of some of the next generation of Kennedy kids (just like Star Trek TNG, just not as good). All kidding aside, imagine having to fly out of an airport named for your dead father. Jeez. Poor J.F.K. fils had to be cremated and buried at sea so that he would finally have some privacy and peace.
What the hell have the Hilton's done with themselves? Philanthropy?-well they saved a lot of people a lot of money on hookers but other than that, not so much.
I refuse to think that anyone owes anyone anything (barring the notable exception of parents to their children under the age of 18 but we all know how well that usually turns out). And so I'd never say that the rich are responsible for the poor or the talented for the useless. It's just that it doesn't seem sporting when celebrities don't have the kindness in them to throw the teeniest bone at the imbeciles who worship them.
The Kennedy family, for all their faults, have a history of public service. The eldest son died in the war (he crashed after volunteering for a suicide mission-and he was the lucky one). Two sons murdered while in or on their way to the presidency. We'll get to Teddy later but really, did Massachusetts need one more pregnant Polish girl? I think not. Imagine the sacrifices of some of the next generation of Kennedy kids (just like Star Trek TNG, just not as good). All kidding aside, imagine having to fly out of an airport named for your dead father. Jeez. Poor J.F.K. fils had to be cremated and buried at sea so that he would finally have some privacy and peace.
What the hell have the Hilton's done with themselves? Philanthropy?-well they saved a lot of people a lot of money on hookers but other than that, not so much.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Bridge & Tunnel vs Hoof & Mouth
All New Yorkers are descended of immigrants, Algonquins and Pequots aside. (Yes, there is some debate as to who gets to consider themselves American Indians but my feeling is as long they open up a casino I'd be willing to accept B'Nai Brith.)
As such, it is patently hypocritical to admonish the most recent wave for doing exactly what our forefathers did; which is to come to the center of the known universe (screw you Boston, you know we are) and try to make a better life. It is also to be expected that they continue the tradition of assuming that THEY are the true New Yorkers and that this entitles them to treat the next wave, and anyone else, like shit. "We are the 'yearning to breath free'-you are the 'wretched refuse'-get it straight"
That little bit of somewhat-PC apologia aside, I am going on record as saying that the border must be closed immediately! Not THAT border, you Minutemen morons. (And by the way, nice name. Is that something you should advertise? Cialis much?) No, I speak of the Lincoln Tunnel, the GW Bridge and both airports. The Mexicans can stay but the suburbanites and country folk must go! And take the goddamn hipsters with you!!
Rising in numbers surpassing the Norway rats are the Mid-Western/Long Island/New England nudniks (it's Jewish, if you can't understand you're not a New Yorker so go home shiksa). I'm gonna lose it if one more calls me, a born and raised Brooklynite, "bridge and tunnel". So what the fuck does that make you "plow and hearth", "lawnmower and Prozac"?
And what anoints them with the right to do so? Location, location, location. The only thing that they have (supposedly) going for them is that they live in Manhattan, while some of us still languish in the Boros. Allow me to rephrase that: that they are STUPID enough to pay some exorbitant amount of money to live in a fifth floor fleabag and pay what their dad owes the bank on his farm each month for the privilege of looking down their noses at those of us who get that being a New Yorker means more than being bled dry by your landlord.
To wit, for your edification, a brief list of what else not to do:
-Stop showing up to Yankee games anytime after the first out. Yes, I get that more people will see you if you arrive once the proletariat is seated but the problem is that I didn't pay good money to see some over-paid spoiled asshole in pinstripes ruining my view of the field. OK, I mean, I did. But he's A-Rod and you're not, so sit the fuck down.
-Being tough does not mean being rude. Here in the big city we have what I like to refer to as survivalist etiquette. Play nice because you never know whose gonna whip out a gat and let two fly. When you share a city with 8 million of your closest friends and neighbors you kind of need to understand that pushing and shoving, cursing or generally being a prima donna simply won't work. What it will do is eventually get your ass kicked by one (or several) of the 8 million who, like you, isn't having a good day either.
-Don't be a "flat leaver". When I was kid in Brooklyn that's what they called you if you abandoned a friend in their time of need or because you found something better to do. 9/11 wasn't the first and it won't be the last. How many of you whinging pussies ran screaming for Bismark when the buildings fell only to move back when the coast was clear? (Oh, and thanks for raising my rent, asshole). You know what? That's not how the game goes. You fly with me, you die with me. Someone once said to me that I was crazy for staying here and that I should move to Ohio where it was safe. And I replied that I'd rather die in NYC than live in Ohio because at least here you die once and there everyday is a little, tiny death. Don't believe me? Order a pizza in Columbus and see what happens.
-Quit looking down your nose at people who make less money than you or other immigrants from further afield than you. That Irish construction worker covered in dust that you refuse to acknowledge on the subway is helping build the over priced condo your sorry ass is destined to live in. He is now where your great-grandfather was 100 years ago. Let's hope Liam's grandkid is less of an ass.
What is it that causes you to denigrate us? Why the need to ridicule us? Our hair may be bigger, and our nails acrylic and our A's flat. We may say girl so it sounds like oil and oil so it sounds like girl. We may not have gone to Wharton-but you know what, maybe we did. Or our kids will. Maybe your mad at at us because you dreamed of the day when you would fly here. And all we've ever had to do is cross those bridges and traverse those tunnels and arrive at a place with a common history, a singular emotional shorthand, a language all our own-our home.
Showing up doesn't mean you were invited. Kudos for having the good sense to get the fuck out of whatever third rate train stop you grew up in but that's all anyone here owes you. You want to belong? You want the right to have Southerners call you a damn Yankee or have Eurotrash roll their eyes at your brashness? Then you have to pay dues. You have to suffer through the fear that some other idiot's god has "blow up some shit" on his agenda. Maybe you could even spend a summer in the city and not run off the Hamptons-as if! Perhaps you could try celebrating Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Festivus here with us, creating your New York family, and not flying back to the very people from whom you couldn't wait to get away. Have the Yankees/Mets/Giants/Jets/Knick/Nets and/or Rangers break your stupid heart, year after year after long suffering year. And still you show up at Ranger home games in a Messier jersey and chant "beat the wife Potvan" even though you have no idea who Potvan is or why he'd want to -but you're looking forward to finding out.
Make this your home. As ever, all are welcome. All I'm asking is that you not be a jerk until you've earned the right to do so. You come here and get rich(er), right? Maybe you could stick around long enough to maybe have some kids and raise them here and not in some godforsaken suburb they'll only hate you for later. Maybe you could learn to appreciate that those bridges and tunnels carry the people who make your life possible. That guy driving the subway on New Year's Eve, carrying your drunk ass safely back to the Upper East from the Lower East-he's bridge and tunnel. And your assistant who keeps you sane when your "even a bigger asshole than you are" boss drives you nuts-she's bridge and tunnel. And that great Halal cart that feeds you at lunch so you have the energy to be the "big swinging dick on Wall Street" that you are and future "Master of the Universe" that you were destined to be-yes, that guy is bridge and tunnel too.
We agree to acknowledge that's it's not your fault that you come from a shit hole. That no self respecting terrorist would waste the powder it took to blow up your home town (or state).
We who were born here and live here are blessed by the gods and have a responsibility to be magnanimous. This city is so big and so great and so diverse that there simply has to be enough room for all of us to coexist. For generations people have left behind their petty tribal squabbles and found a new life on the streets of New York. You're going to tell me that an influx of other Americans is going to bring us asunder?
Oh well, nothing civil about a civil war I guess. We better start patrolling a perimeter on the Verrazano.
As such, it is patently hypocritical to admonish the most recent wave for doing exactly what our forefathers did; which is to come to the center of the known universe (screw you Boston, you know we are) and try to make a better life. It is also to be expected that they continue the tradition of assuming that THEY are the true New Yorkers and that this entitles them to treat the next wave, and anyone else, like shit. "We are the 'yearning to breath free'-you are the 'wretched refuse'-get it straight"
That little bit of somewhat-PC apologia aside, I am going on record as saying that the border must be closed immediately! Not THAT border, you Minutemen morons. (And by the way, nice name. Is that something you should advertise? Cialis much?) No, I speak of the Lincoln Tunnel, the GW Bridge and both airports. The Mexicans can stay but the suburbanites and country folk must go! And take the goddamn hipsters with you!!
Rising in numbers surpassing the Norway rats are the Mid-Western/Long Island/New England nudniks (it's Jewish, if you can't understand you're not a New Yorker so go home shiksa). I'm gonna lose it if one more calls me, a born and raised Brooklynite, "bridge and tunnel". So what the fuck does that make you "plow and hearth", "lawnmower and Prozac"?
And what anoints them with the right to do so? Location, location, location. The only thing that they have (supposedly) going for them is that they live in Manhattan, while some of us still languish in the Boros. Allow me to rephrase that: that they are STUPID enough to pay some exorbitant amount of money to live in a fifth floor fleabag and pay what their dad owes the bank on his farm each month for the privilege of looking down their noses at those of us who get that being a New Yorker means more than being bled dry by your landlord.
To wit, for your edification, a brief list of what else not to do:
-Stop showing up to Yankee games anytime after the first out. Yes, I get that more people will see you if you arrive once the proletariat is seated but the problem is that I didn't pay good money to see some over-paid spoiled asshole in pinstripes ruining my view of the field. OK, I mean, I did. But he's A-Rod and you're not, so sit the fuck down.
-Being tough does not mean being rude. Here in the big city we have what I like to refer to as survivalist etiquette. Play nice because you never know whose gonna whip out a gat and let two fly. When you share a city with 8 million of your closest friends and neighbors you kind of need to understand that pushing and shoving, cursing or generally being a prima donna simply won't work. What it will do is eventually get your ass kicked by one (or several) of the 8 million who, like you, isn't having a good day either.
-Don't be a "flat leaver". When I was kid in Brooklyn that's what they called you if you abandoned a friend in their time of need or because you found something better to do. 9/11 wasn't the first and it won't be the last. How many of you whinging pussies ran screaming for Bismark when the buildings fell only to move back when the coast was clear? (Oh, and thanks for raising my rent, asshole). You know what? That's not how the game goes. You fly with me, you die with me. Someone once said to me that I was crazy for staying here and that I should move to Ohio where it was safe. And I replied that I'd rather die in NYC than live in Ohio because at least here you die once and there everyday is a little, tiny death. Don't believe me? Order a pizza in Columbus and see what happens.
-Quit looking down your nose at people who make less money than you or other immigrants from further afield than you. That Irish construction worker covered in dust that you refuse to acknowledge on the subway is helping build the over priced condo your sorry ass is destined to live in. He is now where your great-grandfather was 100 years ago. Let's hope Liam's grandkid is less of an ass.
What is it that causes you to denigrate us? Why the need to ridicule us? Our hair may be bigger, and our nails acrylic and our A's flat. We may say girl so it sounds like oil and oil so it sounds like girl. We may not have gone to Wharton-but you know what, maybe we did. Or our kids will. Maybe your mad at at us because you dreamed of the day when you would fly here. And all we've ever had to do is cross those bridges and traverse those tunnels and arrive at a place with a common history, a singular emotional shorthand, a language all our own-our home.
Showing up doesn't mean you were invited. Kudos for having the good sense to get the fuck out of whatever third rate train stop you grew up in but that's all anyone here owes you. You want to belong? You want the right to have Southerners call you a damn Yankee or have Eurotrash roll their eyes at your brashness? Then you have to pay dues. You have to suffer through the fear that some other idiot's god has "blow up some shit" on his agenda. Maybe you could even spend a summer in the city and not run off the Hamptons-as if! Perhaps you could try celebrating Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Festivus here with us, creating your New York family, and not flying back to the very people from whom you couldn't wait to get away. Have the Yankees/Mets/Giants/Jets/Knick/Nets and/or Rangers break your stupid heart, year after year after long suffering year. And still you show up at Ranger home games in a Messier jersey and chant "beat the wife Potvan" even though you have no idea who Potvan is or why he'd want to -but you're looking forward to finding out.
Make this your home. As ever, all are welcome. All I'm asking is that you not be a jerk until you've earned the right to do so. You come here and get rich(er), right? Maybe you could stick around long enough to maybe have some kids and raise them here and not in some godforsaken suburb they'll only hate you for later. Maybe you could learn to appreciate that those bridges and tunnels carry the people who make your life possible. That guy driving the subway on New Year's Eve, carrying your drunk ass safely back to the Upper East from the Lower East-he's bridge and tunnel. And your assistant who keeps you sane when your "even a bigger asshole than you are" boss drives you nuts-she's bridge and tunnel. And that great Halal cart that feeds you at lunch so you have the energy to be the "big swinging dick on Wall Street" that you are and future "Master of the Universe" that you were destined to be-yes, that guy is bridge and tunnel too.
We agree to acknowledge that's it's not your fault that you come from a shit hole. That no self respecting terrorist would waste the powder it took to blow up your home town (or state).
We who were born here and live here are blessed by the gods and have a responsibility to be magnanimous. This city is so big and so great and so diverse that there simply has to be enough room for all of us to coexist. For generations people have left behind their petty tribal squabbles and found a new life on the streets of New York. You're going to tell me that an influx of other Americans is going to bring us asunder?
Oh well, nothing civil about a civil war I guess. We better start patrolling a perimeter on the Verrazano.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Bully For You...Now Shut Up!
Seriously, if I open my email just one more time and get a "funny" email regarding the democrats, liberals or any other position or opinion not favored by my conservative friends, as the god I don't believe in is witness I am going to shoot someone! Perhaps myself for having allowed friendships with these half-wits.
Look, I'm 40. You know that. I've been a liberal since the age of 10 (more on that later). I am not going to change your opinions nor you mine so can we get down to the business of mutual respect and drink buying?
Why is it that I NEVER feel the need to forward anything even remotely about my political beliefs, nor do my liberal friends, but the conservatives feel it is their god (I still don't believe in) given right to clog my inbox with their opinion? If you know me well enough to have my email address then you must know my political bent. Cease and desist will you? Because if not, I'm going to start getting the idea that in the back of your mind you think there is something intrinsically wrong with me for not agreeing with you. And I might start thinking that way about you in return.
Is it we liberals, the true silent majority, that are wrong? Should we take up bullhorns and stand in front of churches and start chanting "wake up"? Should we start printing bumper stickers that say WWDD (What Would Darwin Do)?
I've been a liberal almost my whole life. Almost, because for the first 10 years I was on the fence. See, I have never had a hard time telling anyone what to do or to do it exactly as I say and I am more than occasionally convinced that I know what's best for the whole world; hence, a natural born conservative.
Sometime around the age of 10 I had a revelation. Following the rules of the schoolyard (and most Parliaments), if I posit that I can force others to behave as I think proper, then it is only a matter of time before a bigger, badder school yard bully forces his or her opinion on me. And as every 4th grader knows, you're always just one transfer student away from not being the biggest or the baddest. I figured out at 10 (precious, wasn't I?) that if I can tell others what to do then I am setting myself up to be told what to do by someone who can shout louder or hit harder. This is not a good thing. But what was the alternative? Simply to live and let live. Yes the tough guys of the world would still exist but one need only survive to the next grade or graduation to escape them.
But adult life doesn't quite work that way does it? There are co-workers, neighbors, in-laws and countless others that are forced upon us by societal conventions. There are even those friendly acquaintances and poorly acquainted friends with whom one shares facets of one's life but never the whole picture. And when these people decide to shove their ideas down your in box there is no nun or hall monitor to save you. Because you have allowed them access to your life and they haven't the common sense or civility to just back off. They are so convinced of their own superiority that they just can't help but smash their opinions in your face. How is that any less disrespectful that a schoolyard wedgie? It's worse! Because if these people had any respect for you or any real conviction in their own beliefs they wouldn't be so desperate in their attempts.
Please, please, please, I beg of you. For the sake of whatever good feelings I may have (or had) for you and you for me let us just agree to disagree. I know Hillary has huge thighs, I know Bill is a sex fiend, I know you think the polar bears are committing suicide and that melting ice caps just mean the Great Slushy shortage is over. I get that you think Guantanamo is the latest Club Med and water boarding is spa treatment; I understand that my uterus is your backyard, and that gay marriages that have absolutely no impact on you whatsoever would mean the end of civilization as you know it. I get it already. I have friends who took too many acid tabs at Dead shows and they hallucinate too. I'll do for you what I do for them-hold your hand, let it pass and try not to make you feel embarrassed when you realize what an ass you've been.
Tell me, why is it that those have the least clue about anything have the thickest manifestos? Why is it that these people who believe they have a blueprint for a proper life are also the most miserable? Wouldn't it be easier to stop trying to control other peoples lives and redirect that energy on living your own?
Look, this isn't open for debate. Don't write me back with your skewed, off-kilter, "right makes right" arguments. So help me, I will round up every lefty, pinko, femi-nazi, militant dyke, flaming twink, egghead intellectual, tree hugger, baby killer and greenie I can find and bombard your mailbox with something you sorely lack-common sense.
Please, cease and desist and be confident in the knowledge that in years to come when you're sunning yourself on the Atlantic beaches of Ohio in SPF 40³ and scuba diving the balmy Bering Straight, when Hillary will be dead and still fat (unlike the Polar Bears who all died skinny) and the gays will have experienced the horrors of marital bliss and the third world occupies 9/10ths of the planet that you, in your infinite right-wing wisdom were right all along. Because nothing in your world will have changed.
Look, I'm 40. You know that. I've been a liberal since the age of 10 (more on that later). I am not going to change your opinions nor you mine so can we get down to the business of mutual respect and drink buying?
Why is it that I NEVER feel the need to forward anything even remotely about my political beliefs, nor do my liberal friends, but the conservatives feel it is their god (I still don't believe in) given right to clog my inbox with their opinion? If you know me well enough to have my email address then you must know my political bent. Cease and desist will you? Because if not, I'm going to start getting the idea that in the back of your mind you think there is something intrinsically wrong with me for not agreeing with you. And I might start thinking that way about you in return.
Is it we liberals, the true silent majority, that are wrong? Should we take up bullhorns and stand in front of churches and start chanting "wake up"? Should we start printing bumper stickers that say WWDD (What Would Darwin Do)?
I've been a liberal almost my whole life. Almost, because for the first 10 years I was on the fence. See, I have never had a hard time telling anyone what to do or to do it exactly as I say and I am more than occasionally convinced that I know what's best for the whole world; hence, a natural born conservative.
Sometime around the age of 10 I had a revelation. Following the rules of the schoolyard (and most Parliaments), if I posit that I can force others to behave as I think proper, then it is only a matter of time before a bigger, badder school yard bully forces his or her opinion on me. And as every 4th grader knows, you're always just one transfer student away from not being the biggest or the baddest. I figured out at 10 (precious, wasn't I?) that if I can tell others what to do then I am setting myself up to be told what to do by someone who can shout louder or hit harder. This is not a good thing. But what was the alternative? Simply to live and let live. Yes the tough guys of the world would still exist but one need only survive to the next grade or graduation to escape them.
But adult life doesn't quite work that way does it? There are co-workers, neighbors, in-laws and countless others that are forced upon us by societal conventions. There are even those friendly acquaintances and poorly acquainted friends with whom one shares facets of one's life but never the whole picture. And when these people decide to shove their ideas down your in box there is no nun or hall monitor to save you. Because you have allowed them access to your life and they haven't the common sense or civility to just back off. They are so convinced of their own superiority that they just can't help but smash their opinions in your face. How is that any less disrespectful that a schoolyard wedgie? It's worse! Because if these people had any respect for you or any real conviction in their own beliefs they wouldn't be so desperate in their attempts.
Please, please, please, I beg of you. For the sake of whatever good feelings I may have (or had) for you and you for me let us just agree to disagree. I know Hillary has huge thighs, I know Bill is a sex fiend, I know you think the polar bears are committing suicide and that melting ice caps just mean the Great Slushy shortage is over. I get that you think Guantanamo is the latest Club Med and water boarding is spa treatment; I understand that my uterus is your backyard, and that gay marriages that have absolutely no impact on you whatsoever would mean the end of civilization as you know it. I get it already. I have friends who took too many acid tabs at Dead shows and they hallucinate too. I'll do for you what I do for them-hold your hand, let it pass and try not to make you feel embarrassed when you realize what an ass you've been.
Tell me, why is it that those have the least clue about anything have the thickest manifestos? Why is it that these people who believe they have a blueprint for a proper life are also the most miserable? Wouldn't it be easier to stop trying to control other peoples lives and redirect that energy on living your own?
Look, this isn't open for debate. Don't write me back with your skewed, off-kilter, "right makes right" arguments. So help me, I will round up every lefty, pinko, femi-nazi, militant dyke, flaming twink, egghead intellectual, tree hugger, baby killer and greenie I can find and bombard your mailbox with something you sorely lack-common sense.
Please, cease and desist and be confident in the knowledge that in years to come when you're sunning yourself on the Atlantic beaches of Ohio in SPF 40³ and scuba diving the balmy Bering Straight, when Hillary will be dead and still fat (unlike the Polar Bears who all died skinny) and the gays will have experienced the horrors of marital bliss and the third world occupies 9/10ths of the planet that you, in your infinite right-wing wisdom were right all along. Because nothing in your world will have changed.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Magical Mystery Tour
Back in the day, when Rock stations in New York City actually existed and the universe hadn't been homogenized; back when newscasters were journalists and DJ's actually liked and understood the music they played, there was a show called "Desert Island Discs". The DJ would ask musicians to come on air and program a set consisting of the 5 albums or songs that they would choose to bring with them if they were (as the name implied) marooned on a desert island. Now my bro and fellow blogger asks a similar question: What music means the most to you?
Having just turned forty (ouchy) and realizing that I've lived in 5 different decades, understanding that a mere 3 generations of my family spanned 3 centuries and wanting to accept the quick march of time, I decided to peg my answers to a time frame in the hope they'd make more sense. Here goes:
60's: I was born in 68 and so there aren't a whole lot of cogent memories there but my early childhood was colored with the images of that decade. And, as is the case with most decades, the 60's (or what we most associate with them ) didn't really start until 66 or 67 anyway and carried over until maybe 75 when Disco gave the 70's a definition of it's own. So my 60's tunes are:
Woodstock, as performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, written by Joni Mitchell
The summer of love and me in diapers! Damn! Sure it's trippy and maybe a little bit dated but how can you live your life and not believe that "we are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden"? I beg you, Google the lyrics. It will bring you peace. Or maybe crunchy chicks.
Feelin' Groovy or The 59th Street Bridge Song, written and performed by Simon and Garfunkel
"I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep. I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep, let the morning time drop all it's petals on me. Life I love you! Feelin' groovy!" Ahh. Don't you just wish? This song most reminds me of my older brother and the weekends when he'd come home from college with a ginormous afro and pretend to dunk me in the toilet. I loved him so. Last I heard he was an engineer with a defense contractor. So much for the groovy.
70's: Ah childhood! Polyester and excellent British rock; later on came disco (which I will argue did not suck).
Philadelphia Freedom, written by Bernie Taupin (the best lyricist EVER and John's collaborator before he whored out to Disney. Oh well, platform shoes cost money ya know?) and performed by Elton John. It isn't the lyrics with this one, it's one very specific memory that for whatever reason got attached to this song; my dad and my family at Coney Island having a picnic in the parking lot by the old blue roller coaster (yes, we are Hispanic). The sun, the heat, the old brown Chevy, my mom's chewy ham sandwiches with mayo on Wonderbread and the smell of Coppertone. I miss them.
Show me the Way, Peter Frampton. This is the soundtrack for the endless summers in Brooklyn where the sun was as bright as ever it could be and the colors of childhood so warm the memory of them chills me now. As an adult I can appreciate: "I wonder if I'm dreaming, I feel so unashamed, I can't believe this is happening to me. I watch you when you're sleeping, and then I want to take your love". Oh yeah.
80's: My teens! Utterly misspent and all the better for it! Generation X had no intention of changing the world. We'd learned from all the hippies turned Gordon Gecko that idealism without action is mental/moral masturbation.
Personally, it was the longest decade ever: I turned 12 in "80 and 20 in '88. That's a lot happening in one little decade. I've had to mix artists, albums and songs; there's just too much salty goodness.
Angry Young Man, Billy Joel. Those lyrics and that prelude, God bless him!Describes every guy I ever loved, except the one I married. See, even I can grow up.
Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Tears for Fears. "All for freedom and for pleasure, Nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world..." And didn't we just?
Forever Young, Alphaville . Yes dammit. I really do want to live forever, forever. But I'd like to do it young. This was my prom song and, as I told a fellow blogger, I last heard it on the oldies station. Shoot me now.
We're the Kids in America, Kim Wilde. Oh man, I can do a Molly Ringwald dance to this like you wouldn't believe! (see The Breakfast Club). Makes you wanna scream "Screw you mom and dad" and then give them a lace glove covered middle finger. We are still the kids in America and apparently we STILL live for the music go round!!!
Bat Out of Hell, Meatloaf. Oy, the angst! It's Goethe; The Teen Years. I know the album came out in '77 but it was still wildly popular in the 80's with a certain brand of tortured young man. For me that album was everything that time was, an endless succession of explosive passions and wrenching defeats. And to think my heart ended torn and twisted at the foot of burning biker. Sigh.
90's: Tough decade. Either I got old or there just wasn't anyone left to fight with or anything left to fight over or for. Apartheid got done, Mr. Gorbachev had taken down his wall with a little help from David Hasselhoff, no one was going to drop to any nukes on us and the Republican Guard surrendered to CNN. Makes you wonder why you wake up some decades.
Let Me Clear my Throat, DJ Kool. What the hell does "music in the monitors" mean anyway? I first heard this song at Coney Island, riding the Himalaya with my boyfriend the body builder. Young, pretty, healthy and in love. Uh huh huh huh, goddamn!
The Hair Metal Genre-the later years, Poison, Motley Crue et al. White Trash national anthems one and all but god, it was such brainless fun.
The Grunge Genre, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, STP. The first time I heard Teen Spirit I nearly fell off my bar stool. I thought it was the first genuine, completely unique musical form I'd ever heard. Like nothing before or since. And some of the best lyrics ever written. Don't believe me? "Take a bath I'll drink the water that you leave. If you should die before me ask if you can bring a friend, pick a flower hold your breath and drift away".
00's: What can say you about a decade that you can't figure out what to call? Is it the naughts? Or the zero zero's? I can't wait for 2013. I'm equally undecided musically . There isn't alot happening that I relate to. And what the hell is an "emo" and why are all the boys wearing guy liner? It's getting to the point that if Zach Braff doesn't include a song on his show or his soundtracks I figure it's not worth it. Could this possibly be a function of my getting older? Is this the first symptom of "if it's too loud, you're too old"? Was it not I who sat on the speaker stacks at CBGB's? I, who partied like a rock star at the Peppermint Lounge and made it to (and in) the VIP section at Limelight? Did I just name drop three totally ancient and now defunct clubs? I guess it's the natural progression of things.
Rudy Valle got knocked off the charts by Bing Crosby who was supplanted by Frank Sinatra who was dethroned by Elvis who was made obsolete by the Beatles. My friends and I have starting saying things like "they don't write songs like that anymore" or "things were just better then". In my heart, I don't think that's true. I think art and music are eternal because the human experiences upon which they are based are immutable. We're just too tired and bored and staid to really listen like once we did.
Thankfully, there are those immortal songs that live forever, at least for me. I don't know when they joined me exactly but they've never left and never will:
In the Mood, by Glenn Miller
Bolero, by Ravel
Anything he ever wrote, Mozart
My Prayer, by The Platters (my wedding song and proof that God loves atheists too)
Do You Know What it Means to Miss New Orleans, as performed by Rosemary Clooney (yeah, yeah white soul whatever, I dig her)
Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White, versions by Perez Prado or Xavier Cougat
Now you know more about me than most. And I'm sure you don't care, which is good, this is the Internet after all. But do yourself a favor and look some of these up. They'll change your life.
Having just turned forty (ouchy) and realizing that I've lived in 5 different decades, understanding that a mere 3 generations of my family spanned 3 centuries and wanting to accept the quick march of time, I decided to peg my answers to a time frame in the hope they'd make more sense. Here goes:
60's: I was born in 68 and so there aren't a whole lot of cogent memories there but my early childhood was colored with the images of that decade. And, as is the case with most decades, the 60's (or what we most associate with them ) didn't really start until 66 or 67 anyway and carried over until maybe 75 when Disco gave the 70's a definition of it's own. So my 60's tunes are:
Woodstock, as performed by Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, written by Joni Mitchell
The summer of love and me in diapers! Damn! Sure it's trippy and maybe a little bit dated but how can you live your life and not believe that "we are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon and we've got to get ourselves back to the garden"? I beg you, Google the lyrics. It will bring you peace. Or maybe crunchy chicks.
Feelin' Groovy or The 59th Street Bridge Song, written and performed by Simon and Garfunkel
"I got no deeds to do, no promises to keep. I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep, let the morning time drop all it's petals on me. Life I love you! Feelin' groovy!" Ahh. Don't you just wish? This song most reminds me of my older brother and the weekends when he'd come home from college with a ginormous afro and pretend to dunk me in the toilet. I loved him so. Last I heard he was an engineer with a defense contractor. So much for the groovy.
70's: Ah childhood! Polyester and excellent British rock; later on came disco (which I will argue did not suck).
Philadelphia Freedom, written by Bernie Taupin (the best lyricist EVER and John's collaborator before he whored out to Disney. Oh well, platform shoes cost money ya know?) and performed by Elton John. It isn't the lyrics with this one, it's one very specific memory that for whatever reason got attached to this song; my dad and my family at Coney Island having a picnic in the parking lot by the old blue roller coaster (yes, we are Hispanic). The sun, the heat, the old brown Chevy, my mom's chewy ham sandwiches with mayo on Wonderbread and the smell of Coppertone. I miss them.
Show me the Way, Peter Frampton. This is the soundtrack for the endless summers in Brooklyn where the sun was as bright as ever it could be and the colors of childhood so warm the memory of them chills me now. As an adult I can appreciate: "I wonder if I'm dreaming, I feel so unashamed, I can't believe this is happening to me. I watch you when you're sleeping, and then I want to take your love". Oh yeah.
80's: My teens! Utterly misspent and all the better for it! Generation X had no intention of changing the world. We'd learned from all the hippies turned Gordon Gecko that idealism without action is mental/moral masturbation.
Personally, it was the longest decade ever: I turned 12 in "80 and 20 in '88. That's a lot happening in one little decade. I've had to mix artists, albums and songs; there's just too much salty goodness.
Angry Young Man, Billy Joel. Those lyrics and that prelude, God bless him!Describes every guy I ever loved, except the one I married. See, even I can grow up.
Everybody Wants to Rule the World, Tears for Fears. "All for freedom and for pleasure, Nothing ever lasts forever. Everybody wants to rule the world..." And didn't we just?
Forever Young, Alphaville . Yes dammit. I really do want to live forever, forever. But I'd like to do it young. This was my prom song and, as I told a fellow blogger, I last heard it on the oldies station. Shoot me now.
We're the Kids in America, Kim Wilde. Oh man, I can do a Molly Ringwald dance to this like you wouldn't believe! (see The Breakfast Club). Makes you wanna scream "Screw you mom and dad" and then give them a lace glove covered middle finger. We are still the kids in America and apparently we STILL live for the music go round!!!
Bat Out of Hell, Meatloaf. Oy, the angst! It's Goethe; The Teen Years. I know the album came out in '77 but it was still wildly popular in the 80's with a certain brand of tortured young man. For me that album was everything that time was, an endless succession of explosive passions and wrenching defeats. And to think my heart ended torn and twisted at the foot of burning biker. Sigh.
90's: Tough decade. Either I got old or there just wasn't anyone left to fight with or anything left to fight over or for. Apartheid got done, Mr. Gorbachev had taken down his wall with a little help from David Hasselhoff, no one was going to drop to any nukes on us and the Republican Guard surrendered to CNN. Makes you wonder why you wake up some decades.
Let Me Clear my Throat, DJ Kool. What the hell does "music in the monitors" mean anyway? I first heard this song at Coney Island, riding the Himalaya with my boyfriend the body builder. Young, pretty, healthy and in love. Uh huh huh huh, goddamn!
The Hair Metal Genre-the later years, Poison, Motley Crue et al. White Trash national anthems one and all but god, it was such brainless fun.
The Grunge Genre, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, STP. The first time I heard Teen Spirit I nearly fell off my bar stool. I thought it was the first genuine, completely unique musical form I'd ever heard. Like nothing before or since. And some of the best lyrics ever written. Don't believe me? "Take a bath I'll drink the water that you leave. If you should die before me ask if you can bring a friend, pick a flower hold your breath and drift away".
00's: What can say you about a decade that you can't figure out what to call? Is it the naughts? Or the zero zero's? I can't wait for 2013. I'm equally undecided musically . There isn't alot happening that I relate to. And what the hell is an "emo" and why are all the boys wearing guy liner? It's getting to the point that if Zach Braff doesn't include a song on his show or his soundtracks I figure it's not worth it. Could this possibly be a function of my getting older? Is this the first symptom of "if it's too loud, you're too old"? Was it not I who sat on the speaker stacks at CBGB's? I, who partied like a rock star at the Peppermint Lounge and made it to (and in) the VIP section at Limelight? Did I just name drop three totally ancient and now defunct clubs? I guess it's the natural progression of things.
Rudy Valle got knocked off the charts by Bing Crosby who was supplanted by Frank Sinatra who was dethroned by Elvis who was made obsolete by the Beatles. My friends and I have starting saying things like "they don't write songs like that anymore" or "things were just better then". In my heart, I don't think that's true. I think art and music are eternal because the human experiences upon which they are based are immutable. We're just too tired and bored and staid to really listen like once we did.
Thankfully, there are those immortal songs that live forever, at least for me. I don't know when they joined me exactly but they've never left and never will:
In the Mood, by Glenn Miller
Bolero, by Ravel
Anything he ever wrote, Mozart
My Prayer, by The Platters (my wedding song and proof that God loves atheists too)
Do You Know What it Means to Miss New Orleans, as performed by Rosemary Clooney (yeah, yeah white soul whatever, I dig her)
Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White, versions by Perez Prado or Xavier Cougat
Now you know more about me than most. And I'm sure you don't care, which is good, this is the Internet after all. But do yourself a favor and look some of these up. They'll change your life.
Monday, April 14, 2008
WWJD? Sue!
A papal visit always inspires me to think of religion. Religion and really bad hats. If you're a Catholic, a papal visit is like a ticker tape parade for Neil Armstrong; cool guy but other than being on the moon what does he have to do with me?. And I can't imagine the Jews aren't thinking "gee, German and Catholic, this can't end well". If you're gay it's "nice hat but lose the attitude".
I was raised a Catholic and endured 12 years of Catholic school for which I am eternally grateful to my now gratefully dead parents because only those 12 years could have produced such a faithfully unwaivering atheist.
That having been said I have absolutely no beef with Jesus Christ on any personal level. You see Jesus is not my problem. My issue, which this papal visit makes most abundantly clear, is that it took longer for the Romans to un-cross Christ that it did for his followers to utterly miss the point and ruin the message.
The message itself is practically flawless in its simple truth: love one another as I have loved you; do unto others as you would have done unto you. Bang! Dead simple. No culinary rules, eat what you want. No need to meditate on a mountaintop to commune with your maker for your maker lives in the faces and hearts of all your grubby fellow men. Love them and you love me says our hippy-dippy savior. And not five minutes later the disciples are divvying up shares in Jesus Inc. and criticizing the Romans for drawing lots for his clothes. Some balls.
If I were Christ's counsel what would I advise he do? Sue. Sue the balls off of any and every loser manipulator who hides behind your trademark to promote his own agenda. Sue the churches for plagiarism, perjury, libel, and fraud. Sue the priests and the clergy for defrauding his stock holders and holding cheap the currency of his message. Sue for defamation of character for the horrors committed in his name. Sue for alienation of affection for every believer they ever tortured into hating him.
So what ax does an atheist have to grind with a church he or she has utterly abandoned? Only this-that said church, and all churches it seems, have not only so completely missed the point but worse yet, have promoted an antithetical dogma in his name that affects those who do want to play along. And while I am an atheist, I will fight to the death for your right to believe in that gobbledygook but I can't stand by and watch a good idea go so horribly off kilter and so many innocents hurt in the process.
Would Christ have ostracized gays? He ran with 12 unmarried dudes. Do the math.
Would he have stood in judgment of people who use contraceptives? He hung with a hooker, remember? How on earth did this simple and beautiful and perfect philosophy get so perverted? And don't think I'm only knocking the home team. While Catholicism may have it wrong, sure as you're breathing, the Protestants got it wrong-er. They took out the dancing, the sex and the wine. Two out of the three the Bible tells us Jesus partook in. The third got left on the cutting room floor at Nicea but you get the point. Good grief!
The New Testament bible is like a transcript of a bad game of "telephone". It starts out with Jesus saying "love your neighbor" and ends with the acid trip of Revelations and the apostles screaming "stone everybody". What the hell?
This particular pontiff is a real storm trooper when it comes to catechism (sorry, couldn't help it) allowing for no variations or exceptions to church rules. It's like trying to enforce a dress code on the deck of the Titanic. Dude, folks are leaving in droves, now is not the time to make staying more un-doable.
Hundreds of gay Catholics marched on the UN to raise awareness of how their church has abandoned them. Hey, wasn't the whole point to love your fellow man? Meanwhile the church that speaks of preserving life condemns condoms that would prevent the spread of AIDS thus causing millions of unnecessary deaths. Is it me, seriously?
I am an atheist and therefore find no need for faith in my life. Not religious Voo Doo-ey, water into wine, magic show faith. I have faith in my fellow man. That every single beautiful boy out in front of the UN yesterday is as deserving of love and respect as Christ himself. Because that is what Christ himself said. I have faith that we are the Gods and are capable of Godlike behavior. I've seen it and I feel it and if you don't believe me consider this: it took 19 men to kill over 3000 on 9/11 but 323 to save 60,000 in New York alone. The law of averages argues for the intrinsic decency of men's souls which churches would crush, but the word of Christ exalted.
Believe if you wish and don't if you don't. Frankly I couldn't care less. But if you are going to believe then for god(whom I don't believe in) sake at least believe it right. Believe in the actual message and not the translation. The bible says that Christ was warned he'd be betrayed by one of his own for pieces of silver. They neglected to tell him the real betrayal would be post mortem. The pieces of silver? Ask who is the largest landowner in New York City (although NYU may have beat them on this one). A papal visit isn't a mission of faith, it's a real estate appraisal.
So this weekend I think I'm sitting out Pope-a-Palooza '08 and instead sending contributions to GMHC, Planned Parenthood, and NOW. And with every check, I the atheist, am living the true word of Christ. Ain't that something?
I was raised a Catholic and endured 12 years of Catholic school for which I am eternally grateful to my now gratefully dead parents because only those 12 years could have produced such a faithfully unwaivering atheist.
That having been said I have absolutely no beef with Jesus Christ on any personal level. You see Jesus is not my problem. My issue, which this papal visit makes most abundantly clear, is that it took longer for the Romans to un-cross Christ that it did for his followers to utterly miss the point and ruin the message.
The message itself is practically flawless in its simple truth: love one another as I have loved you; do unto others as you would have done unto you. Bang! Dead simple. No culinary rules, eat what you want. No need to meditate on a mountaintop to commune with your maker for your maker lives in the faces and hearts of all your grubby fellow men. Love them and you love me says our hippy-dippy savior. And not five minutes later the disciples are divvying up shares in Jesus Inc. and criticizing the Romans for drawing lots for his clothes. Some balls.
If I were Christ's counsel what would I advise he do? Sue. Sue the balls off of any and every loser manipulator who hides behind your trademark to promote his own agenda. Sue the churches for plagiarism, perjury, libel, and fraud. Sue the priests and the clergy for defrauding his stock holders and holding cheap the currency of his message. Sue for defamation of character for the horrors committed in his name. Sue for alienation of affection for every believer they ever tortured into hating him.
So what ax does an atheist have to grind with a church he or she has utterly abandoned? Only this-that said church, and all churches it seems, have not only so completely missed the point but worse yet, have promoted an antithetical dogma in his name that affects those who do want to play along. And while I am an atheist, I will fight to the death for your right to believe in that gobbledygook but I can't stand by and watch a good idea go so horribly off kilter and so many innocents hurt in the process.
Would Christ have ostracized gays? He ran with 12 unmarried dudes. Do the math.
Would he have stood in judgment of people who use contraceptives? He hung with a hooker, remember? How on earth did this simple and beautiful and perfect philosophy get so perverted? And don't think I'm only knocking the home team. While Catholicism may have it wrong, sure as you're breathing, the Protestants got it wrong-er. They took out the dancing, the sex and the wine. Two out of the three the Bible tells us Jesus partook in. The third got left on the cutting room floor at Nicea but you get the point. Good grief!
The New Testament bible is like a transcript of a bad game of "telephone". It starts out with Jesus saying "love your neighbor" and ends with the acid trip of Revelations and the apostles screaming "stone everybody". What the hell?
This particular pontiff is a real storm trooper when it comes to catechism (sorry, couldn't help it) allowing for no variations or exceptions to church rules. It's like trying to enforce a dress code on the deck of the Titanic. Dude, folks are leaving in droves, now is not the time to make staying more un-doable.
Hundreds of gay Catholics marched on the UN to raise awareness of how their church has abandoned them. Hey, wasn't the whole point to love your fellow man? Meanwhile the church that speaks of preserving life condemns condoms that would prevent the spread of AIDS thus causing millions of unnecessary deaths. Is it me, seriously?
I am an atheist and therefore find no need for faith in my life. Not religious Voo Doo-ey, water into wine, magic show faith. I have faith in my fellow man. That every single beautiful boy out in front of the UN yesterday is as deserving of love and respect as Christ himself. Because that is what Christ himself said. I have faith that we are the Gods and are capable of Godlike behavior. I've seen it and I feel it and if you don't believe me consider this: it took 19 men to kill over 3000 on 9/11 but 323 to save 60,000 in New York alone. The law of averages argues for the intrinsic decency of men's souls which churches would crush, but the word of Christ exalted.
Believe if you wish and don't if you don't. Frankly I couldn't care less. But if you are going to believe then for god(whom I don't believe in) sake at least believe it right. Believe in the actual message and not the translation. The bible says that Christ was warned he'd be betrayed by one of his own for pieces of silver. They neglected to tell him the real betrayal would be post mortem. The pieces of silver? Ask who is the largest landowner in New York City (although NYU may have beat them on this one). A papal visit isn't a mission of faith, it's a real estate appraisal.
So this weekend I think I'm sitting out Pope-a-Palooza '08 and instead sending contributions to GMHC, Planned Parenthood, and NOW. And with every check, I the atheist, am living the true word of Christ. Ain't that something?
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